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─ 14. home and heartbreak
***
7:30 AM
Home.
The crème-colored walls of my bedroom didn't provide the same amount of comfort as they did prior to my leaving. The cherry blossom mural Gabriel painted on the wall above my bed when I moved into the house didn't comfort me the same.
Everything was the same as when I had left it.
But somehow, so much had changed in the three months I had been gone.
It wasn't my room that had changed; it was me.
I didn't think that it was possible.
Vic's shuffling in behind me knocked me from my thoughts.
"El? You okay?"
Since we had reunited, Vic had been a hovering mother hen. Don't get me wrong – I was grateful for him. But the only thing I desired now was to sleep away my troubles...if I could.
I blinked owlishly and turned to peer at him over my shoulder.
"I'm okay." I spoke quietly, "Just tired."
Vic swallowed hard and slowly nodded – fire burning brighter in his eyes, not bothering to mask his worry. He scuffed his dress shoes the floor and sat my small bag on the bed beside Max.
"Are you hungry?" he asked, risking a glance down at Max as the golden retriever nuzzled against me legs. Happiness spiked within me as I stared into Max's dark eyes. I leaned down, ignoring the pricks of sadness inside of me once I tried to pat his head, only to realize and take notice of the casts on my hands.
I literally couldn't do anything with these things on.
Useless.
Worthless.
I shut my eyes tightly.
"No," I shook my head, "I'm not hungry."
I could feel Vic's displeasure at my reply.
Last night I had only managed to eat a small slice of pizza and some candy Luke gave me.
I slowly climbed back to my feet with Vic's assistance and forced a tiny smile.
"I'm just going to nap for a while." I said, mouth falling back into a frown as I caught sight of my face in the large circular mirror near my bed. Dark circles lingered underneath my eyes, and my face was pale (paler than normal), and the large bandage on my cheek completed my sickly look.
I slid the slippers off my feet and padded over towards my bed, glad that I was dressed in comfortable clothes, and sunk down into the mattress. I didn't bother pulling the duvet over my body, since it would be hard to manage only being able to use my swollen, bruised thumbs.
