Motofumi oneshots (NaofumiXMotoyasu)

a stupid blond? no, traumatized.

 "Listen, I'm not going to judge you, okay? I know we don't have the best bond, but I assure you, I don't care to tell other people your problems. I'm one of the few who isn't going to blow up on you, I promise. Get out what you need to," Naofumi promised, his voice calmer than his usual rough and tough voice. He surprisingly wasn't over the top annoyed; even if the usual narcissistic blond sat before him, twiddling his thumbs on the bed of Naofumi's rented hotel room. 

He supposed Motoyasu only came to him because deep down Motoyasu knew he was on the wrong side. Motoyasu accidentally spilled the tip of the iceberg of his emotions in one of their fights, leading to these meet-ups. Though, this was only the first... But Naofumi could be sure it wouldn't be the last. The raven found it funny how this worked. Fighting until someone's throat was cut to being each other's therapist (Though, still not taking too much of a liking to one another.)

"I know- I- Thank you. If I told Bitch-no- anyone else, I know they'd see me as less...Thank you again, Iwatani," Motoyasu sighed. Apparent rejection towards whom he spoke to was still underlying in his tone, but the blond seemed to have a bit more acceptance now when talking to someone. 

Naofumi sat down on the bed beside Motoyasu, leaning forward a bit. "Hey- I want you to get better. Maybe then I'll stand you a bit more," Naofumi huffed. Motoyasu gave a small eye-roll to his comment. "Well, spill anything you want to get off your chest."

Motoyasu stayed silent for a moment. "I-I should start with what I think is most important here. I... I don't want to hate you, okay...? I feel merely pressured to, though. I've seen you- and I hated you so much more just because of jealousy and my damn personality. I was jealous and in denial after the trial. I spend most of my life only getting attention from horny girls that were forced onto me by my friend. I never got attention outside of that- and I- I wanted and having no one and seeming like a nobody made me want to be perfect, and not have one flaw. My appearance has changed so much, and I- I don't even know what my fucking personality is anymore- and I don't even have hobbies that I commit to all because I want to be so perfect...," Motoyasu spoke, voice more sincere- and more emotional as he went on. Naofumi listened close.

Motoyasu looked at the raven finally, a sorry look claiming his face. "When we were summoned here and you were blamed with false accusations, I was seen as perfect- and I knew I needed to keep that persona. I tried to agree with everyone, impress everyone and try to be more of a hero than I knew I was. I- I can't do a lot as a hero... I just showed a mask of confidence and really tried to stand out when I got all the attention... Everyone- everyone loved me- and I felt happy in a way. I didn't feel like myself, and I know I acted nothing like how I really would deep down- but I felt happy with how accepted and perfect I was. I felt I accomplished what I had always wanted to achieve. Not only that- but I rose to the top... Just because of your pain. I probably wouldn't have gotten so much praise if I didn't make such scenes about what happened to you," Motoyasu mumbled, burying his head in his hands. His body seemed to tense, and his breathing hitched a bit. 

Motoyasu let out a soft sigh, "After the trial, I knew everything I had was going to be lost. I was going to lose the only thing I had- an outside perfect life and finally had perfected what it meant to be well- flawless. Just- perfection. I stopped caring about depression, my true feelings and I didn't even care that I didn't even want to be in a relationship with Malty- any man would have wanted what I had- and I felt I was missing nothing. When the trial happened and everyone looked up to you and started to shun me along with the king's and bitch's crimes- I- I felt lost. I lost my true self and my fake self that I thought I could never lose. I was in denial- swearing I had sided right. I didn't want to be wrong- and if honest I still can't accept that I'm wrong. I don't want to be wrong. I know it's too late to become someone you trust. Too late to turn around all the horrible shit I did to you and your team members. To be honest- It was probably deserved for me to lose everything after what I did to you... But- I still don't want to accept it. I'm just- angry at myself- and confused," Motoyasu admitted, voice shaky as he held back tears.