sixteen; you are beautiful

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Nate can barely look at me as we distance ourselves from the party and I want to scream at the obvious barrier that has suddenly been put between us. I thought everything was going so well, that things were looking up for us.

Look at me. I want to yell but tell myself not to.

"How have you been?" I ask as the sound of the music behind us begins to quieten.

Nate hums and keeps his eyes on the floor. "Okay, you?"

My head aches at the sadness in his voice. He's not fooling anyone. Or maybe he's not hiding anything, he's just being genuine. All I can think is that he came here for a reason, he wouldn't be here if he didn't want to be.

I ignore the question. "What's happened since the last time I saw you?"

His eyes squeeze shut, so tight I'm sure they're about to rip. Then he raises his head to mine and he shakes his head. "Nothing," he says quietly. "Nothing has happened."

"You are a terrible liar."

My tone is harsh but I can't stand this damn elephant that is in the room and has been since we last met up. Even our mindlink conversations haven't been the same and I hate how cold we feel, the bond almost non-existent to our previous progress.

"What do you want me to say?" Nate says louder, his eyebrows pushing together.

"To tell me the truth."

Nate's dark eyes flick between mine, his face warping into pain and agony. He doesn't speak and I almost whimper at the silence. No, no we can't be back to this. Not after everything. It's like everything before this never existed.

"Is this because I told you how many people I slept with?" My voice cuts through the hall and Nate's jaw tenses and then relaxes quickly.

He glances to the wall and tries to recover his reaction but it's too late, it's obvious what's bothering him. I take a step closer to him, now standing in his eyeline.

"Please talk to me," I beg. "Nothing can be resolved if you don't talk to me, Nate."

When he flicks his gaze up to mine, underneath those fair eyelashes. "You want me to tell you how fucking insecure it made me feel?" He suddenly finds his voice that bellows off the walls but he's not directly shouting at me. "That I feel like I will never be able to compare to the men you've been with."

My throat clenches painfully at the hurt in his tone, it yanks on the bond to the point I feel like I'm choking. No one will ever be able to compare to him because he's beautiful and he's emotional and he's mine. Nobody will ever be able to

"You are much more special than anyone I've ever slept with, Nate."

"Am I?" His eyes glimmer with tears.

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