fifty-four; moving out

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I told Everett and Reign that I would be moving out and moving in with Nate for the foreseeable future. I don't feel comfortable being in a house I used to be able to call a home–now it feels like a dungeon of nightmares.

Even Layla said leaving would do me some good and that I always have the option to go back, they're my family and will welcome me with open arms. Although I can't see my relationship with Everett ever being fixed.

He tried to speak to me when I packed up my things but I couldn't face him. Every time I see his face I replay the words in my mind and it's taken a lot of strength and power to tell myself that they're not true because if I sit and ponder for too long, I'll start believing them again.

Reign hugs me for so long and sobs into my shoulder. "Please don't disappear on us," she whispers into my shirt. I embrace her back.

"I won't be going too far," I reassure her, rubbing my hand down her back. "Take care of yourself. I'm only a mindlink away."

She understands. She smiles at me beneath those tears. "Don't be a stranger," she mumbles. "I'm always here for you. Everett too, I know you don't want to approach him but know that he is remorseful about what happened."

I know that Everett has been slowly destroying himself over me telling him that our brotherly relationship was over. I haven't ever seen him so defeated. It's obvious that he's not sleeping, his relationship with Reign is rocky after what happened.

Things aren't the same. I don't know if they ever will be.

Everett silently wipes his eyes in the corner of the kitchen as I bring my suitcase and boxes of belongings down into the hall. I don't look at him again because seeing him like this makes my throat tense painfully and he doesn't deserve these emotions–not after what he's caused.

I say goodbye to Fran and Jesse, who have mostly been helping Reign and Everett take over the pack whilst we go through this bump in the road. I'm glad they have them at least because I don't want the entire place to crash and burn–not that I did much for my beta role anyway.

They walk me to the door. "Bye guys," I say, noticing Everett lingering in the back. "I love you all. I'll see you soon."

I purposely say all because even though what Everett said will scar me forever, I still love him. He's my brother, my blood. Nothing will change that, only the circumstances around our relationship will.

Reign kisses my cheek one last time, Fran and Jesse waving me off. I walk down the steps with my stuff. As soon as I reach the bottom of the steps, I hear movement behind me. "Milo," Everett's strained voice makes me pause even though I wish I carried on walking. "Wait. Please wait."

I don't turn around, I face the gates. My chest heaves because I can feel him right behind me and the pain in his voice makes my eyes close tightly. "I love you," he says shakily. "My brother. I don't want this to be the end for us because living a life without you isn't possible. I lost you even though I have never deserved you."

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