UNSPOKEN WORDS

Chapter 31

SlEEPLOVERS

I was on my way back to Judah's house. After that small visit to Mimis coffee shop, Tom and I went out for a walk to spend some time together before he went back to work again.
Judah has no idea of my invitation to the Riddles. So I need to find a way to make him agree to this.

Judah and I won't have a future. That's something I choose. Since I know he deserves better  I shouldn't have had sex with him. but him begging for me to stay was something that turn me on, guys had cried for my attention , but seeing Judah in his knees, crying and begging made me feel even better. It showed how much he cares about me, it shows his loyalty and devotion towards me.

Now I realize that Judah it's a very sensitive guy who I could never date. I could destroy him completely. Because apparently that's the type of girl I am. I need someone who will remain strong even if I do the worst to them. Like The Riddles.

Mattheo is perfect since I know he will agree to be with me even if I'm with Tom. He wants me so bad he won't even care about the consequences or the feelings of his own brother.
While Tom... he is not a sensitive guy, yes he is a nice guy. But that's only to me. With me he is the sweet boyfriend any girl will want. Nonetheless he never changed, he still cold with other people. I guess it's because he is always defensive in case someone judge him because of who his father is.

I got back to Judah's house. I see that Angelina car isn't here. So I guess I was alone at home. I go upstairs to go to Judah's room. I stop completely when I see a picture of a black haired man,  Angelina was smiling and hugging him while the man looked at her in adoration. The man didn't looked like the type  of man who will say good morning to you or even speak to you, but somehow he had a tiny(almost not noticiable) smile on his face.

"That's my father" I heard Judah's voice sound behind me, I turn around to look at him. It seems he got out the shower  since his hair was wet. ,
"You have his hair" I say making him chuckle
"Straight and black?... i know... I won't let my hair grow, I don't feel like looking like that" he says pointing at the picture. I smiled
"Do you know how your parents met?" I asked , he looks at the picture for a few more seconds before focusing on me.
"My mother use to  work in a bar... she had told me  that she saw this man dress in all black, who came for a few drinks, she said she thought he was a weirdo until she actually listened to him... when he was drunk he would talk for hours, that's what she'd told me... one day he asked her on a date... then he confessed he was a wizard... my mother didn't believe him at first until he did magic in front of her...my mother told me he was getting ready for her rejection until she kissed him, after that... it was all happy memories until, things happened in the wizardry  world , he got distanced more and more.... One night my mother did a pregnancy test... it was positive, she waited for days to tell him the news but he never came back... he was gone, and my mother never told him about his only child." He says all that with so much love and appreciation.

I Can tell Judah has a deep love for his father even if he doesn't know him. How can a man have so much love in himself?

I step closer to him and he looks at my eyes. I grabbed one of his hand and interlock our fingers.
"Thank you for sharing" I say softly. He slightly smiles to me, he squeezed my hand slightly showing me he appreciated my words.
"About us Cherry..."he says in a low voice, i pulled away softly and look at him
"What about it?" I asked crossing my arms in front of my chest.
"What are we?"

I felt my heart beating faster when I heard those. Words coming out his mouth. I don't want to answer that question, I know the answer but it will hurt him. I can't lie to him like I lie to the others.  Judah has a real place in my heart, for him I'll do the right thing.

"We're friends Judah" I say. I noticed he clenched his jaw while looking me.
"Friends?" He asked again, his tone  calm and confused
"Yes... we are friends. I hope you understand" Judah look up thinking of his next reply. Then he looked back at me with a soft smile
"Okay... we're friends" I frown in confusion. Why is he so calm about this? Why is he not crying? Why does he not care? Does he have someone else?

I clear my throat  ending the silence
"I invited Tom and Mattheo, is that okay?" I asked him. Judah shrugged
"I don't mind...I'm going out... I'll be back at 8"
"Oh okay? Bye?" I say confusion written in my face. he turn around and went down stairs, after a few second I heard the door close.

I began to think if I did the rigth thing, i didn't mean for this mess to happen, but I couldn't help it. I am not a good person. I'll never be. I could stop but why would I want to?

Now I just need to get the things ready for tonight. It's stupid for me to do a sleepover. But I know it would work. Mattheo and I can have some fun tonight. Tom won't suspect anything.

He never does.  Because he truly trust me, like he should.