UNSPOKEN WORDS

Chapter 53

TOM

I won't lie to myself, I want to end everything before it starts. If we manage to have power just like my father, bad things may happen. Death, death may come for all people. And what would happen to Mimi?

I can't let her down. She's done so much for me, I don't want to disappoint her by ending up like my father. I'm not my father.

"Here, take one of this. Oh you too, take one!" Says a loud girl in the library I had to look up at her. It was a girl with short black hair and dark eyes. Tall and skinny. I can see she is loud and energetic. Very annoying.

It's then that she lost my way and walks towards me.
"Here, take one of this" she says handing me a paper.

Say no to closing the library early!!!!

I look up at her and frown
"What's this?" I asked
"Is to make the library be open more hours, obviously" with that she left me alone. I rolled my eyes. Then I see a figure coming inside the library, Cherry walked in with elegance and in her arms two books were softly placed.

She took a sit in one of the tables away from me but not far so I can see her. She placed her paper and quill on top of the table with her delicate hands then she opened one of her books, her eyes scanning the pages. She bit her lip softly just like she always did when she was confused or not understanding what she was doing.
  I smiled remembering the times I had to do her homework because she didn't understand how to do it. Many would say she was using me, but the thing is that I loved to be used by her.

She is still looking down at her book, she is frowning now, perhaps she needs help with her homework. I couldn't just stay here sitting, I began to gather my stuff and once I stood up, I see a guy approaching her. She looks up at him and smiles.

Now that guy is sitting in front of her, the guy is talking to her, she is smiling again. She brushed her hair with her fingers and chuckle to whatever he had said.
  I sat back down and just look at them, talking and laughing while the guy helps her with her homework.

I had nothing else to do, he was in my place and she let him be. I placed my things back on the table , I should leave but I can't let her alone with him.

I tried to go back on doing my work but each time I looked down I quickly looked up to see her. She was laughing with that guy.

   I couldn't help it, it was too much to see. I gather my stuff again and walked towards them.

Stop, stop, stop walking Tom!

I tell myself until I'm in front of them.
"Leave her alone!" I say pushing the guy from his chair. Cherry stood up and looked at me.
The guy stand up he was about to punch me but Cherry stop him by pointing her wand at him.
"Really? He started this!" The guy yelled at her. I look at Cherry she didn't look at me
"Leave" she said to him.

With that the guy gathered his stuff and left us alone. I look around the library people were staring at me. I felt so ashamed and I had to walk away from the library.

I walked away as fast as I can. My heart  was beating fast, I felt my throat hurt and my eyes burning. Still I didn't cry. I can't cry for her anymore. That's not what I'm supposed to do now.

I'm supposed to not feel. Just like my father.
I don't want to be like him.

What the hell am I doing with my life.

"Tom!" I heard someone yelling at me. I ignored it and kept walking until I reached an empty classroom . Still I heard the door behind me open and closed.
"Tom, look at me" that's when I turn around and see her. Standing there looking at me with those dark eyes that I once loved so much and managed to destroy me.

"Leave me alone" I say to her, she ignored my command and walked closer to me. I didn't dared to step back. She stepped closer until her arms were around me holding me close to her. I stood still not hugging her back, I couldn't. I wanted to. But I can't do it, because she hurt me.

I was there for her, I tried my best to be a good boyfriend but she only treated me like I wasn't enough. I'm still thinking she wasn't loyal to me since I realized she and Mattheo hangout together without letting me know. I don't have evidence they did something, but why líe about their friendship if they had nothing to hide?

I pulled away from her touch with all of the pain in my heart. I look at her.

"Leave me alone please" I say again. She shakes her head
"No" she says .
"I don't want you" I say
"Then why did you push  him away from me?" She says. I huffed and look away.
"I was saving him from you" I lied. She frowns
"What do you mean?" I turned to her and try to glare at her.
"That you destroy lifes, I don't think he would want that for himself." She step back. I look at her.
"Did I destroyed your life Tom?" She asked in a low voice. I wanted to pull her back and hold her. But I'm mad at her, I'm so mad that she managed to make me love her so much I forgot abou myself.

"Did you ever lied to me?" I dared to ask. I just wanted her honesty
"Lie? To you?" She says chuckling nervously
"Yes... Mattheo told me about you guys secret 'friendship'... why was it secret?" I say stepping closer to her. She only looked at me
"You're saying I cheated when I was dating you?" She says
"Exactly" I firmly say.

Then silence.

She only looks at me thinking of her answer. I don't know what to expect, will she be honest or lie to me.
"Say something..." I say, but she only looked at me.
"TALK!!" I yelled her face making her flinch, i didn't care. I just wanted all of this to be clear.
I've seen the way Mattheo looks at her, i know he always wanted her.  Now I see it clearly, each time I was with her, Mattheo would look at her in a way of lust. I remember all those small moments when they would softly smirk and smiled at each other from afar. I didn't wanted to see it then, but now I need to clear my doubts.

"CHERRY, TALK..."
"YES!!"  She confessed. I stood there just looking at her in disbelief. My breathing became faster , my jaw was clenching.
"How many times?" I managed to say,
"More than twice" she says.

I turn around , I couldn't look at her this was hurting so much. I couldn't believe I was so stupid to not see it sooner! I was too blinded by love! I hate myself! What did I do wrong?! I wasn't enough for her! It's all my fault.
But she was the one who did it. She was the one who betrayed me.
She was the one who lied.
She was the one who is ripping me apart.

"Tom?" She says in a low voice, I quickly turn around and slapped her across her face. She looks at me , I grabbed her by her hair and pulled her head back to make her look up me.
"You are a fucking whore!! YOU LIED!! YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME!!" I yelled at her while she had tears on her eyes by how hard I was pulling her hair.
"Yeah?! Well, I didn't ever loved you!!!" That was the last thing that made me explode. I push her to the floor her head hitting one of the desk corners making her bleed. Once she was in the floor She looks up at me, crying with blood on her forehead.

"you will regret this Manson" I say looking at her with disgust, and with that  I leave her alone in the empty classroom. And cried. I cried because I hit her. I'm not a true man, I hit the woman I love.

I'm a monster just  like my father.