chapter thirty-one

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life in his music

min ivy

jisung and i laid naked, a thin white sheet covering our bodies as jisung's laptop rested on our thighs. my head was leaned onto his bare shoulder, idly running my fingers along the curve of his bicep. jisung typing away on the laptop, his brows furrowed as he focused.

the two of us had finally decided to work on the song again, the thoughts of sex fresh on our minds. though as we worked, the song ended up being about more than just sex. upon reading over the lyrics we came up with, you would think it was just about sex, but a few listens in and you would quickly realize there was more to it.

i also learned that jisung had a lovely singing voice, and insane rap skills. there were a few occasions where he'd ask me to sing the line, but i declined, music was still not my thing. besides, i'd much rather hear his angelic voice echoing through the quiet room.

"how does it sound so far?" jisung asks, his gaze still focused on the screen as he begins to play what we have, along with his rushed recordings of the parts. i smile, listening intently as i focus on things that normally make me like songs. i wanted to be able to give him real feedback.

the beat, like before is very intriguing, now hearing it paired with lyrics that the two of us came up with on our own was surreal. and it sounded good, it was as if a story was being told, and it was very easy to follow along. not to mention, the tune was quite catchy, and i could imagine myself humming along to this later.

"i really like it." i tell him, nuzzling more comfortably onto his shoulder.

"it's almost done. we just need one more verse, and a title." he chuckles, pulling up the portion of the song that we had left blank so far. "the bridge."

"what bridge?" i ask, jisung snorts.

"it's like... the part in a song where everything zeros in. the climax already hit, and now we have to ride that high out to the end." his language was purposefully sexual as it had been the entire time we worked on the song. but surprisingly, the sexual explanations made a lot of sense in my head. he plays the blank beat, the music swelling as the beat muffled for a moment, and just before the distortion goes away, the blank beat ends. we had about eight seconds of this 'bridge' that we needed to fill.

"okay... so what should we put there?"

"well how do you feel after you finish? what's going through your mind?" he questions, cheekily poking my forehead with his finger. i bite my lip, blushing slightly as the mental image of an orgasm fills my head.

"trying to catch my breath mostly," i chuckle. "and i guess i think about how amazing it was." i shrug. jisung was a lot better at putting his feelings into words than i was, yet the entire time he was making sure to ask me about my feelings, even though they never came out as detailed as his did.

"okay..." he trails off, thinking for a moment.

"i told you i'm not good at this." i laugh.

"do you want to try something?" he asks suddenly.

"like what?" i lift my head from his shoulder to look at him quizzically.

"you can say no."

"i can't say no if i don't even know what you're asking."

"can i record you having an orgasm?" the question hit me like a ton of bricks. it was probably the last thing i expected him to ask me in that moment.

"h-huh?" i stutter, blinking rapidly as i try to figure out if i was in a dream or not.

"can i record you having an orgasm?" he repeats, as if i actually didn't hear him the first time.

"i... uh..."

"we can distort the audio like the music so it doesn't sound as clear, but i think it would fit really well right here. just a pause with no lyrics, just sounds." he explains. no signs of sexual desire in his voice, he was completely serious about this.

"um... i mean, i can just like, pretend i'm having one-"

"no it needs to be real." he shakes his head. still no signs of sexual desire. i couldn't even chalk it up to him just being horny. he really believed it would fit perfectly.

"can't we just look up an audio file of it?" i suggest. jisung sighs.

"i mean, we can." he says blankly. clearly disappointed that i seemed to be turning him down. my eyes widen as he opens another tab, searching up 'female orgasm audio files', and then i was hit with a pang of jealousy. something in me did not want him to sit here and listen to multiple women orgasming until he found one that he liked the most.

"wait." i stop him.

"it's okay, really if you're not comfortable. i don't want you to feel like you have to." he reassures, pausing his typing.

"no, i... i want to." i tell him with a firm nod.

"are you sure? cause i-"

"i'm sure. but um... how will we..." i trail off, hoping he would pick up on my question. and then he smirks.

"how do you want to do it?"

"um-"

"you could go home, record it on your own and send it to me." he suggests, slight mischief in his tone.

"b-by myself?" i was expecting him to want to record it now.

"yeah. unless you had something else in mind?" his gaze darkens and i knew what he was doing.

"well, i-"

"it's okay, you can tell me." he says, feigning a nurturing tone.

"you um... you want it to be authentic, right?" i ask, regaining a bit of my composure despite his lustful gaze.

"right." he nods, eyes flickering to my lips for a moment. the action almost unnoticeable had i not been staring right back at him.

"then... maybe i should do it here?" i suggest.

"okay, you can go to the bathroom, or i can leave the room and-"

"jisung." i pout. but i knew he was only teasing. the mischievous glint in his eyes telling me everything he wasn't saying. he was waiting for me to say it out loud.

"what?" he asks innocently. i practically groan, cheeks flushing red once again at the thought of voicing my wants to him.

"i want..." i trail off, looking away from him to take a deep breath. "i want you to make me cum." i tell him firmly. he smirks, his tongue poking out to wet his bottom lip.

"one more time." he teases, putting his hand to his ear, urging me to say it again. i roll my eyes, lightly shoving him.

"jisung..." i whine. he chuckles.

"i'm just kidding, baby." he pulls me in, pressing a chaste kiss against my lips. "let's get started, shall we?" he jokes, and in seconds, his lips were on mine again, this time, fueled by much more desire.

if this is how it was to write songs with him, i would definitely write plenty more songs with him in the future.

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