Kingdom of cards chpt 3 N.S. Bad Omens story

Am I enough for you?

Noah's POV
I walked back inside and went into the kitchen. As I go into the fridge, Eleanor gently touches my back.
"What did he say?" She whispered as I take a sip of a monster drink. "We're gonna talk tomorrow." She nods as we come to sit at the dinner table. "About what... what are you guys gonna talk about?" She asked reaching for my hand. "I don't know, he thinks I'm crazy." I whispered taking another sip. "Why would you say that?"
"I'm not gonna repeat what I said to him back to you. It's bullsh*t " she let's my hand go but still stares at me.
"Well, why does he think you're crazy?" I shake my head and rub my face. "I f*cking told him I hate myself.
Everytime we have something great going for us, something horrible happens." I stand up and walked towards the basment. "Noah, wait " I opened the door and start heading down the stairs as Eleanor follows behind me. "You need to talk to me." She says closing the door. "I'm so done with this sh*t. " she watches as I pick up my shattered computer peices off the floor. "Why'd you break this?" She was also helping by picking up some pieces. "Why wouldn't I? " I reach for the shattered glass chunks and stare at the sharpest one.
"This has always been my escape." I said as Eleanor's eyes meet mine with worry. "Noah, put that down." She was terrified of what I was gonna do.
"F*ck me and this sh*t life." I whispered and sliced my wrist.
"NOAH, WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" She yells while quickly taking the glass from my hand.

I didn't cut too deep, but it hurt and that's what helped.

"You son of a b*tch. I DON'T NEED THIS NOAH! LOOK WHAT YOU DID " she yanks my wrist up as blood drips down my arm. "Yeah well f*ck it Eleanor!" I didn't look at her as the words left my mouth. "F*CK YOU, YOUR SO SELFISH!" I was looking at my wrist below me as I saw her kneel in front of me. "You don't care do you? You're just a coward Noah! Hiding all of this behind us like it never happened? Well it did, I thought you were better than this!" I still wouldn't look at her. "You f*cking *sshole " she slap my cheek catching me off guard, but I probably deserved it.

"Do you love me anymore? " I whispered as she stands to her feet.
"I love you, but I f*cking hate you now." "What the f*ck does that mean?" I questioned as she grabs a picture out of the photo box. "You're being a D*ck " I watched as she stares at the picture then back at me.
"You know what, Noah? You're right,
F*ck this." She takes her ring off and throws it towards me.
"Eleanor? " I said as she walks up the stairs. "ELLIE? " I stand to my feet and run up the stairs towards her.
"Stop" I grab her arm as she opens the door and pushes me. "YOU STOP! I'M LEAVING. I'M LEAVING THIS HOUSE, I'M LEAVING THIS LIFE, AND I'M LEAVING YOU!" My eyes were angry, tired, and now heartbroken. "No Eleanor please, I'm sorry." I said pulling her arm back. "F*CK YOU NOAH" she pushes me back and storms upstairs.

"Daddy?" I looked at the backdoor and saw Sebastian crying. "Yes? " I whispered as a tear falls from my face. "Are you Okay? " he mumbled while slowly approaching me. "No. Buddy I'm sorry, I'm so sorry buddy "
I cried as he hugs me. I wrapped my arms around him as we continued to hug. "Let's go Sebastian " I looked up and saw Eleanor with her suitcase and purse. "Mommy, daddy's sad" he says still holding me against him.
"Sebastian, we're leaving." She hissed walking towards us. "Eleanor please stay " I said looking up at her, letting Sebastian go. "No I'm done, we're done, Noah." She says grabbing Sebastian's arm. "Mommy no, I want Daddy to come." Sebastian cried as I reached for his hand. "No Eleanor, you can't take my son." I stand up and grab Sebastian's hand. "He's my baby. Let him go." I can't lose my little boy.
"Eleanor, please don't do this " I beg as she walks towards the front door.
"Eleanor please, I don't want you to go. I don't want you to go." I stared at her angry eyes as she debates what to do. "Please, baby I can't have you go." I whispered holding her hand.
"I need a break. We should take a break for a bit ok?" I felt a tear fall from my face as she waits for me to respond. "How long?" I mumbled as she shrugs. "I love you very much, but I can't handle you right now. A few months." "A few months!?" My eyes went wide as she opened the door.
"Go live the rockstar life, you always deserved better. We should see other people and see what we want to do in a few months okay?" I shake my head, I don't want this for us. "You're breaking up with me?.... again"
"For a little while" she starts crying as Sebastian hugs my leg. "Please don't hide him from me." I said leaning over to pick him up for a hug. "I love you so much, buddy... I'll see you in a few weeks okay?" Sebastian looked so sad, and so confused. "Daddy, don't leave."
"I'll never leave you buddy, ok. Call me so I know you're ok." I said as he nods before I set him down on his feet. "This is what you want? " I looked up at Eleanor who slowly nods. "We'll call you, love you Noah." And just like that.... they walked out the house.

I'm alone alone and the ones I loved most are either leaving me or being taken from me, all things out of my control.....

It's so f*cking painful, it's a mess.....