(Un)Break me - Rhea Ripley x reader

Enough

TW

Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong at the worst possible time

Y/N's POV:

Somehow, you manage to let the short answers and interviews slide, but this whole scenario extended for longer than you thought it would. It started to bug you when she left but when she came back all happy to see you and acting like nothing happened, it didn't go away as you wished. Quite the opposite, actually, which brought you to where you are now: a sleep-deprived walking blorb of anxiety.

To make things 'better' (yes, it's ironic), your mom came to visit. You never had the greatest of relationships with her, she always demanded more than you could ever give. No matter how hard you tried, it was never enough.

You were never enough.

Not smart enough, not pretty enough, not helpful enough, not nice enough. Not happy enough . You can still remember how it felt to hear her say:

"Can't you smile in a way that isn't so fake? I payed a lot to make your teeth look that good, that's the least you can do." She always saw your depression as you just trying to get attention.

or

"I don't understand why you're so sad. You literally have everything! I gave you everything!"

or even when laughed while telling you that

"You're not gonna simply take the easy way out after everything I've done for you." Yes, it was about suicide.

Like said before, not the best of relationships, but your mother always sugarcoated it as love, telling you that she was the only one that would love you.

Now you know it was actually gaslighting , but it still makes your head fuzzy. Your therapist told you it's ok to feel like this after so many years thinking that was 'normal'. You like to believe her.

The situation with your mom did improve a little when you moved so far away you weren't even in the same timezone anymore. However, she would come visit you every now and then 'to check on you'. Or, in other words, check her apartment.

She's only been here for roughly two days and it was still enough time for her to find out about you and Rhea being spotted:

"Why are you smoking so much? I've seen you clean that ashtray like three times already." You have to hold tight.

"Because I'm stressed, mom. That's all."

"Oh don't tell me you're upset because of that... woman ." The disgusted undertone in her voice made you want to throw up. Or throw things at her. At this point you're not so sure. Sadly, you took too long to answer. "Oh my god, you are! Y/N didn't I tell you enough times already? No one's gonna love you if you keep on being this pathetic. In the end I'm the only one you have left."

It's gaslighting. It's gaslighting. It's gaslighting. It's gaslighting. You repeat to yourself like a mantra to avoid it from getting to your head. You finish washing the dishes, grab your cat and go to your room.

You open and close your chat with Rhea a bunch of times, wondering if you should talk to her about this. She always makes you feel better. You decide against it, she hasn't been answering you a lot lately and she's probably very busy right now.

Besides, it's just pathetic. That's when you realize it already got to your head. The more you think about it, the more convinced you are that you're not good enough for Rhea. The reason why she would say those things in the interviews couldn't be more clear in your head: you mean nothing to her. Still, you blame yourself, you should've seen it coming. Ok let's be honest, you did see it coming from the second she smiled at you (and yes, you may have ignored all the signs) but that doesn't make it hurt any less.