(Un)Break me - Rhea Ripley x reader

Under my skin

I hate that it takes me so much time, and I hate that we ain't talking too much lately.

Y/N's POV

Your own thoughts are suffocating you.

You wish you were more stable than this.

You wish you could deal with frustration without shutting down and diving in head first back into habits you worked so hard to let go. It is like all those years of therapy vanish from your brain the second something slightly bad happens.

You are an adult for Christ' sake, getting fired shouldn't affect you this much.

Sadly, that's how you function. It has hit you like a truck, leaving you there static, frozen, apathetic. Anyone could see the wires pulling and creaking in your brain. Anyone could hear it in your voice, even if you barely spoke. You are aware that you have been 'gone' for days now and it makes you hate yourself even more. You just wanted to snap out of this fog but you can't seem to. It has always been this way and the more the time passes, the more you were sure it would always be like that.

As you got older, you learned to obey them. There's no fighting your bad ways.

Besides that, you think your girlfriend is about to leave you. You couldn't really blame her if she did, could you? Her recent coldness towards you makes your heart feel like some sick scientist is poking holes in it with daggers way sharper than they should just to see you agonise. Doing nothing is doing ill as having nothing to do throughout the day is taking you down a misery lane. Every hour you were more and more sure that Rhea would leave (regardless of you hoping she wouldn't).

"Y/N, if the people don't say they have a problem with you, you have to assume they don't." Is what your therapist said on the subject. Her tone sounded annoyed. You understood her, you just couldn't believe her. "And it's ok to be with someone that makes you feel good for a change." For a change.

"But-"

"Y/N, no. Stop being the obstacle to your own happiness."

You tried to do that, you really did. However, with the communication between you two going downhill, you felt less and less hopeful in your therapist's words. Rhea should be on cloud 9 with the Royal Rumble victory and everything that was happening because of it but instead the wrestler was always annoyed or frustrated when she was home so you coped with it the one way you knew how to: you bottled your feelings up and threw the bottle in the furthest corner of your mind by plastering a smile on your face, which is - believe it or not - excruciatingly tiring. You always seem to forget how exhausting it is to hide your feelings all of the time, or how many pills it takes for that to happen. They aren't hard to swallow, anyway. Besides, t here are weights on your shoulders that you can't deal with sober.

And making Rhea want to escape your relationship was one of them.

But then again, you couldn't blame her if she did. She has like a million reasons to simply walk away at this point. Your overly unstable misaligned self. Your dumb coping mechanisms that are always worse than your actual problems. The way you are just so fucking pathetic. The fact that if you didn't look like a leech before you definitely do now that you are unemployed. The fact that the only other comfortable place you have that is not inside Rhea's arms is with your fucking ex.

Rhea's POV

As much as I hate to admit it, Leith was right: Y/N went into an apathetic state.

She would hardly humm monosyllabic words, often with a lost gaze on her face. As days went by she got progressively more verbal but it was only a few words a day, which were never related to the elephants in the room (we had a whole herd of them at this point). I don't want to rush her into conversations she's not ready to have yet but things haven't been exactly easy lately.