Relentless (Levi x OC x Eren)

Chapter 35

Guys I knowwww I always disappear. I've been on this journey since my freshman year of college. I'm a senior now that's so crazy... I intend to keep my promise.

Enjoy the chapter. Thank you to all the readers who have patiently stood by me<3

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Novia could not even believe the confession that had slipped from Levi's mouth. Out of all the times they had spent together, the late nights of being intimate.... this was a different kind of intimacy for him. She wondered what had made him switch his demeanor to this extent. How because of her disobedience time and time again, how far she had pushed him this time.

She never understood his hesitation on kissing. It was almost like he physically wouldn't allow himself to go to that place. He seemed like he so desperately wanted to.

"Then do it," she barely whispered under her breath, eyeing his lips then back to his eyes. What would this change? How many times would Novia go against what was morally right to her? Being hurt time and time again. It was an addiction that felt so right in every moment. She just couldn't think right around the captain. Any rational thought always went out of the window

The only other person who had the same effect was Eren.

Levi sighed, fighting his instincts to pull away. Closer and closer he inched his lips until they hovered over hers. He could feel her shallow, nervous breaths.

"Don't fight it anymore Levi, it's okay."

"It's not... you don't understand," He choked. Novia's eyes widened at his pleading tone. Was she witnessing Levi for the first time being vulnerable with her? This whole time he was hiding the intense emotions for her that he was feeling. This was finally the moment he was letting those emotions slip through the cracks.

"Help me understand, what are you hiding from, Levi?" It had been awhile since she called him by his name. Being so angry at him, she refused...but now if this is what it took to get him to disclose what was really bothering him, she would.

She begged him to just be honest. Novia was so sick of it all. The mind games, the back and forth, for once all she wanted was some clarity.

"I'm not hiding from anything.... I just can't. Because I know if I do, I'll never want to stop." He backed away from Novia now, a hand over his mouth as if he was restraining himself. Novia gave disappointing sigh.

"What do you mean you'll never want to stop? Dammit captain for once just tell me what it really is your feeling... I'm tired."

Levi leaned over his desk facing away from Novia, his lips quivering. Maybe it would benefit everyone if he did just say it. He knew how he felt, when was he going to accept it?

That little voice inside him was constantly giving him the anxiety of questioning what would happen if she was gone. But if he kept pushing her away... it would happen regardless.

"If I kiss you, I'll have to accept my feelings-" He stopped trying to find his words, "and... if that happens, then when you're gone.."

He stopped again, this time turning around to look at Novia. She gave a reassuring nod, wanting him to know it was okay.

"If you leave like everyone else in my life, I don't know if I can keep my composure contained this time. This job isn't easy Novia. I seem like I am unfazed by all the deaths I'm surrounded with daily, but the truth is, it's getting harder and harder every time to deal with it."

The words Levi was saying had so much emotion to them. Like as if it was bottling inside, tormenting him because he felt he needed to be an example to everyone. Novia stood there, her eyes becoming slightly glossy as she tried to hold back tears from his words.