Moonbeam Bender | blog memoir 2 | complete and on Amazon

November 21, 2023 Late A.M.

I am not looking for to basketball basketball today because of the simple reason is it the idiot Will be there to make my life hell. I know that for a fact and how is he gonna make life a living? Hell is the fact that he has someone else. I'm not unappointed to love, but I am just trying to get on with my life and not deal with him in anyway, I can imagine the night terrors I'm gonna have tonight because of him! He was a root of all my problems I thought. And still thing to this day. The incident with fled the incident with lot of things because of him. That being said, I'd rather not talk about basketball until I'm actually done that little sh*t show! It's something I'd rather not talk about is the idea of going to basketball. That being said, I've had better things to do with my time and see my ex kiss someone else! That should be only the public and decency laws. To do that in public. That being said, it's kind of revolting! To tell you the truth! I remember meeting his ex and she didn't Have anything nice to say about him either. Which is no surprise there! I'm kind of worried that he will be approaching me! That being said, that's what I think about the whole thing. He said I'd rather not deal with the idea of the ex! And his it! I wish I can tell you his name but that will be intrude his not so needed privacy!  He is literally the cause of every woman's history! On a lighter note......

I am the leader of my own coven on Facebook and spacehey! Also I am a leader to of other groups! One is goth dating and the other was about forensic science social!  That being stated I am a green witch and a white witch as well as a cosmic witch!I will tell you the a there isn't a much of a difference for white and green witch except for one can bend the other way and that one is pure all the time! Did you know that witch means wise woman! I am starting to be a witch because of to much death and betrayal in my life! That I need to heal and that I became a healer my self! I haven't work on my other groups on spacehey but will next engery drink! I am still working on growing my coven! So I am very excited about that!  That being said I discovered crystals or rediscovered crystals and found that I was feeling better,  that was until asshole came about!  No I have to get back on track! Let's say that my emotional car veered off!chupa ( sucky) yes! Yes I know about some Spanish! But really am I am learning Tibetan and Dzongkha the Bhutan language! and I am doing well I think! I also since finding that ring at the thrift store I found other cool rings that I iam going to get for my fingers as well as my septum!I a, trying to find a coffin shaped ring for my finger and what do you know I am f*cking lucky!  I have been lucky since I had my septum pierced and I been able to find cool things or cool things happen for me!

I am glad that I am a coven leader non the less because I have friends that are important to me! Who will be helpful to me!   I never thought about being a green witch before I knew I was white and cosmic witch! That being said I am interested in the craft and the spiritual experience with it! Right now I am just watching cobra Kai, to wake me up! That being said I find that works better then An actual energy drink!  Lie that show for so many reasons one for its martial arts the other that it talks about mindfulness! I still can't believe that cleaning is a form of meditation and ritual! That being said I value my job at that school! Well pre school!  The one thing I don't get is that I did not like that kids these days did not like space and astronomy! Which was a shocker! I enjoyed space when I was in pre school and from then on but I remember that my friend and I like space! And astronomy!   Hense why I am a cosmic witch! That being stated the fact that kids don't like space is enough for me to have a PTSD flash back! It sucks  for me because I wanted to teach the kids what I know about space!

I also wanted to teach kids and people about space as a hobby and tell them what I know......not shove down there throats my knowledge! I remember that I was in catholic school and the shoved everything down my throat which I did not like and lead to more PTSD!  Let's say the catholic people are good but the idea of it isn't!  That being said I don't exclude people unleash the shoving starts! Let's say veggie relaxes wasn't my favorite idea of entertainment!   It just isn't even to this day!  Even if I find a religious book I don't bother reading it because it is annoying to me! The same with country music, I find the we should be connected not exclusive! Did something create the Big Bang and started every single thing! Yes but does not have to involve a name a special book or building!    That is how ptsd is started in the first place was through human ignorance! That I'd rather not get into!

I don't know what to do this very moment because if the idea of a f*cking meeting! I don't like meetings for the simple reason is that I HAVE to go downstairs or I HAVE to shut! One person today told to shut the f*ck up! Not very nice if you ask me! I am not very respectful for meeting because of this sh*t! Besides I hated meeting because when my mom was alive she would set goals for me that I did not want!and I would fight back by being quiet!   So that being said there is a long and storied history of meetings and I.   I f*cking hate them!  Because of my mother obsessive need for me to be social! Well if the kid or person decides to be social on their own terms it's a lot easier the shoving it down their throats!  Why I still remember the 13th birthday was "fit in elena" which I had no intention of doing!

Nor do I intend on fitting the f*ck in!  I had to suffer so much for my decision at the hands of the other students and facility! That being said I am too damn stubborn andI goddamn proud of it!   Part of it was my DNA the other because of my father! That being said I am a b*tch if need be!