Moonbeam Bender | blog memoir 2 | complete and on Amazon

November 25, 2023 P.M.

So I went to a sale today a sale as an a garage sale like saying that was very interesting. Indeed, I went there one time ago to see what kind of interesting things they had the last time I had piercings that I did myself this time I went, I had piercings now that We're not done by thank God. But anyways, so I went back after about three or four years and I I got an eye full of stuff as you can tell one of them was a watch rang something that's Y2K that I've never had seen in a long time. Also, I found these Chinese stress balls like necklace and earrings that I love very much. As much as he can love a pair of earrings, and a necklace, also there was a lot of things to look at those more Christmas stuff because well it is getting to that time of year is Christmas. I'm excited about that but I just want the snow to fly. I know some people are thinking masochistic to say that the snow should fly, but it is Christmas. I've always lived and grown up with a white Christmas. It's always been that way with me I've never had  a green Christmas except for when I was in grade 5 and six that was the only time that I had a green Christmas other than that I prefer white Christmas is because those are the usual ones that I've been through. That being said, there was a lot of Christmas stuff but I managed to find stuff there was not too Christmasy. Also, I was able to find books that  were pretty good. I wanna show you pretty soon they're more about mindfulness as well as mental health and other things as I'm trying to get myself or my ass Back on track after the sh*t show with my ex! let's just say as far as he was concerned, I am still catching up on my sleep. That being said, I found some more that might help me in the long run. I am going to dive into them as soon as possible one is called positive living the other is doctor Oz books the you books! That being said, that's what I found!

Some of the books that I have found, and I have to do a big purge on my room, and I do not talk about the Halloween costume that I did the purge meaning a good cleanup. Make room for the new and get rid of the old kind of thing but I've been trying to do that for the past four years or five years trying to read my books but it takes a lot of time. That being said, I am going to just do a huge little fashion clean out. Tomorrow after I do my job. That being said are basically the books that I got that was very interesting indeed. As well as they are gonna be interesting and how they will affect me in the long run the idea of being more mindful and being my Emotionally well about things would be a lot better than having to run in the dark and not know what the hell I'm doing kind of thing! It's run around in the dark. Thinking you know what you're doing when you don't know exactly what's going on. For one I rather just say that as is. But anyways, there was a lot of Christmas stuff which was interesting. I also found a book that I wanted that I was going to get years ago and another book that I compulsively read years and years ago. You're going to know that I am a obsessive compulsive reader! And author, because I like to keep my reading and writing Updated to make sure that I have a good brain on my head and a good creativity! I find that book or the centre of creativity. It isn't just the paintbrush or the guitar that helps with the idea of creativity. You have to start your imagination somewhere so you start with books! Also, this year for Christmas I'll be going to a friends place for Christmas as in my family has more or less been a bunch of jackasses! That will be another story. Another time is how my family turned on me after my mother's death. That being said they're not my family anymore so that being said enough said!

I am very excited to go to my friends place for d Christmas! Because I enjoy friend more then I do my relatives! As you might find out that I am a juggalette! That said , friends are more family than the f*cking relatives! Let's say that my aunt and my brother both are blessed with the same form of psychopathy! And I think it is a rare form of the sh*ttiness! But my relatives are in the past, except for one that being said, I tried to ignore that one as well. My other brother I'd like to get rid of as well as far as disowning as concerned because I'm just done with who relative sh*t! I find my friends are more my relatives than anything else instead of the people that you were born into or legally adopted into they might have some sway, but they don't have all the sway, especially when they all have the same kind of mental illness! Psychopaths! that being said, I just liked to forget about them I mentioned them a couple of times. My aunt was a real piece of work who was calling me everything under the sun and then that was about it. That's when I snapped and said I've had enough of that particular, part of my life and wanted to move on! So I go to my friends for Christmas instead of some toxic sh*thead relatives who will f*ck me up in the head! That is what my relatives are good at, mind games and only that!    That is how I got hurt by my sh*thead brother! Mind games! That and he drinks like a f*cking fish!   As well as he domes like a wildfire!   That I just don't need!

I am just happy to hear the Christmas music and other Christmasy things soon enough the Christmas lights are coming at one by one, but it's very interesting. I just can't wait for the tree to come out well it is out but to be lit up like while a Christmas tree. That is my favourite thing about the idea of Christmas is a Christmas tree and being able to give as well as receive.! More emphasis On giving than anything else because you get to see the price of look on everyone's face when they open up the presents and see what they have found. That's my favourite thing about Christmas is being shocked and odd, and what I find as well as being shocked and odd at the person face when they open their presents, and seeing what they find find! Is very interesting for sure. I enjoy this time of year. As far as my mother is concerned, she is still with us. It just means she's not able to be seen as far as I'm concerned she's not able to be seen but that doesn't mean she's not worth a at this point or time of year. That being said, I decided not to Use grieving as an excuse anymore. I decided that I was just gonna move. He was gonna move on with me, and that she was going to be a part of my life even though I cannot see her! You can tell I believe in ghost, so that the ghosts are a big thing for me in my life, and in my philosophy and life philosophy, that they do exist their naturally occurring and they're there for a reason sometimes it's just to reassure us Is still there with us or that they are trying to reenact something that they need to have dealt with! That's my idea. Some move on and some don't. My mother will not move on until I am perfectly happy and healthy and the squirrel (brain)! I'm trying to work on that myself as we said with the book so I got today!

It's kind of cold outside but it's kind of nice one. There's a sun is very interesting this time of year when you think it's gonna be superiorly cold and it turns out to be actually not so bad in the sun. That being said is very interesting how one day can be extremely cold the other not so bad depending on your mood if you can handle the Cold and everything depends on your mood! That being said, I've been trying to work on my mood, trying to be a lot better and happier!   Like my friend mentioned the other day!