Moonbeam Bender | blog memoir 2 | complete and on Amazon

Novemner 27, 2023 P.M.

His afternoon was really busy for me today I was helping grocery shop and I got some moisturizer can of axe, I also end up with a cotton candy soda. This will be my first actual soda as the Fruitopia Doesn't count for the idea of a soda that I can get that and drink that today. I'm very excited about tasting liquid cotton candy if you were to call at that. Also, there was a lot of things to get on the cart and pretty soon there was a lot of things that were getting a lot have. And I can only do so much. I am only a Himalayan person, person! Not Superman that being said, I had to say that, and was not exactly very polite to say that I am not exactly Superman. Trying to get out of the parking lot with my heavy Shopping cart and some drunk or was driving up to me and I was like you've got me kidding me you can run somebody else over! Thank god the drunkard was dealt with but the time we left!  And you remember my previous thing about not suffering in silence, while I finally said that I didn't wanna go back to basketball because of the idiot! That being said, I'd rather not deal with him anymore at any kind of level until I can fully heal from my own suffering. And have a relationship of my own and I don't have to worry about him and his bull sh*t!

That being said, I think that's why my mother came to me in a dream as an anorexic was is that I should speak up When an actual paying period in this case basketball is a very painful thing for me to deal with. I'd rather not deal with the basketball anymore. I know they're having some money involved with the goddamn But I can't stand it anymore. The idea was OK when I was well, but I'm not well anymore so therefore I don't wanna deal with this and deal with him anymore. I even said some crude things about him! Which I will not mention this blog, but they were pretty mean things that I said. That being said, I'm not very proud of saying that, but it had to be said that that is on the Nogo list for me! Or the no fly, It is a clear present for my mental health. At this point in time I'd rather not deal with him and his peacock ways, And the fact that he might be there to go and Ostra. I'd be afraid that he don't exercise me and that being said, I don't want to be dealt with with another bully in my life because I had a messy break up with that person. Dealt with too many bully, so I'm just spoke up! That being said, I think that's why I had that dream last night was because my mother was telling me. Why don't you open up and say what you have to say. Which I did! I am not too sure I'm gonna get good reception on that but I am not in a good headspace to deal with the idiot or the fact that I was going to basketball more as forced because of the money aspect! If there was no money! No problem!

That being said NO MORE BASKETBALL!  That is the root of my suffering! Still even though I'm doing better, I would rather not deal with the whole Bball situation! As in basketball! When I learned that I was going tomorrow I spoke up! So I just hope that Other people will understand the fact that I cannot do this particular thing anymore. That being said, it's better than being like an anorexic, who suffering in the silence! I just don't wanna have to deal with him being in his shadow and being the victim of any ostracizing or horrible behavior. The last time I called them out on a bad behaviour was not well received by my friends. That being said, I just want to avoid the whole situation is not that I can't Handle a bully. I know how to handle a bully just fine. I'm pretty strong and I can kick them right in the balls! I would rather avoid that altogether! The last time I ever did that I ended up on the no fly list for 4 years! And I'd rather not go through that again, so I have to say it on the basketball ball! That it bring up other memories I like to forget! Ie! Grade 8 and  elementary school! And catholic school at that! that being said, the Catholic school that I was in, was more operating on the level of a prison. Where the kids had a fan for themselves, and literally do violent things in order to get the bullies. Attention to say no I will not be bullied! And if you were to do those things that were violent, like punch, a kid in the face for calling you the R word you were called out as the bully, so there was no winning with Catholic school and I thought well this is just judging up more of my past!

That being said, I remember it was like prison, but without getting yourself or having free tattoos. That being said, it was pretty rough. You had a fan for yourself, and you had a fight for every day to survive, even though you went home at the end of the day lucky us. Still it was exactly like a praise where you had a new certain things or you were dead! And I find that this particular activity, I'm trying to avoid also grudges up those memories of having to be dog eat dog when really, we shouldn't be like that in the first place!  That is not a good win shirt especially when you are dealing with a messy break up already. That being said, I'm trying to be more positive in my thinking, but every time I hear the words basketball, I just want to pull my hair out! And that is the honest truth, where if I hear the words it just drives me insane and also the words you have to go!

I have literally decided to dread every Tuesday because of the particular situation I am in! But I finally was told to say what you have to say, and I said it.  I don't think the Special Olympics is my mental habitat for me. As I said, I tried really tried this year but it came up short as last day of baseball. I blew my stack and I just don't wanna have to get in that kind of sh*t again. So I'd rather just Avoid  a confrontation And not getting into any books that were negative and anyway. That being said, I really can't stand this guy the idiot anymore I really can't. For the fact that he has ruined my health and put me a few steps back and I have to go in literally like I was in elementary school fight for each day to survive!

Let's just say I'm in sentence you don't hang up on me unless you want to get cold caulked in the face! That being said, I was very honest and I said I don't wanna deal with that because if I'm in the middle of a sentence and you hang up on me, that's kind of a sign that you're not a good person!  It's not that easy to clean that sh*t up with soulugaurd! So I just Avoid certain situation that caused masses in the first place that you cannot clean with a clean solution that being said I'm done with backetball!