Moonbeam Bender | blog memoir 2 | complete and on Amazon

What i learned (november 28, 2023)

I learned some thing last night, and when I wanted to go to basketball and it didn't work out today I learned something that I should not let this society or one asshole Tell me down to the point where I feel like crap. That being said, I don't enjoy being treated like crap or feeling like crap by society or some asshole! This is the last, and I should've learned before high school long before now. But never got the chance to learn it except through violence. Which was not exactly the best way I would say if you're a young kid that punching another kid in the face or throat is not a good thing to do! Especially if they will threaten you with every kind of prison you can think of. That being said, it's very disturbing that I did not learn this lesson or had someone that was allowing me to learn this lesson the easy way, instead of the hard way, at least this time I learned it the easier way. Not to let society or I never Let society tear me down, but one person of all of society was going to tear me down because he was doing this. I was talking on the phone with him. This is the last time I ever talk to him and mid sentence. He ended up hanging up on me and I said To myself, that was the rudest thing I ever seen! In my culture, you don't do cultures you don't go around hanging up people when they're in mid sentence, there's a lot of politeness and some of my cultures and if you are in polite and some of them them, you end up getting in big trouble! That being said, I'm not very happy about that one but I'm certainly not gonna let them and their actions tell me how I'm gonna live my life. Just like I wouldn't let society Tell me how to live life and society is norms. Instead, I said if I don't do anything that's against the law I am not hurting anyone! For one I am a good person for the other. I am a more than decent human being, and I am a spiritual person at that spiritual meaning I believe in Mrs. not religion to be I believe if anyone doesn't do anything against the law, then I think they should be commanded as a person and being part of society norms but unfortunately, that is not the case with some pop culture. They want you to be like Britney Spears where they want you to blonde hair, blue eyes, big boobs, and a big butt and a small small waist. Well I'm sorry that doesn't work that way and anything that stress from that is considered abnormal. That part I knew already about the idea of being positive I was being positive my personality, as well as my body, but I was not positive when it came to being rude. Particularly me being on the receiving end of being rude. Nor do I like being rude myself either. That being said if someone were to call me and try to say sorry I'm trying to clean up the mess. yada yada yada I would say that I am, not going to hang up on them in mid or mid sentence actually because that is just fucking rude!

I know the guy that I was dealing with would not make it through feudal Japan or some of the modern-day Asian countries that are similar to feudal Japan where if you're gonna be rude well, that's you're unfortunate. And that's why I got so pissed off and let him tear me down because he was so rude on the phone. And did not let me finish my apology which was not very acceptable to me. In the Asian part of me that is! That being said, I don't enjoy the idea of being hung up when I'm in mid sentence. But I have learned to be a good strategist when it comes to these narcissistic bastards Who tried to rule everything and everyone in their power it is called Makiavallian, What are you trying to be very controlling and very aggravating of someone else part of the dark triad you should read about that the dark triad which  sadism makiavallianism and as well as narcissism I believe!   To me, I think there is too much of the maki alienism that goes on in society Alienating, or forcing other people who are obviously different in personality, or otherwise, to be alienating themselves! That's exactly what happened with theism in my Catholic school system, as well as the idea that I had a deal with a lot of narcissist in my life and toxic people! So I was able to one of them pretty soon and was able to read the red flags and make the right moves how to proceed shall we! It is literally a game of mental to stay positive. But important to do so to keep those people from tearing you down. Instead, you should build yourself up and help yourself be a better person! That is what I think and that you shouldn't give a shit about what other people think about what you are doing just as long as no one is getting hurt or no one is breaking the law. I don't think anything is going to affect you in a negative way but if it is going to affect you in a negative way because you're part of the dark triad well, you can stay home I think. I find that the guy that I was dating last month was part of the dark triad or had some of the dark triad triad traits!

They are near there. There is a store and Machiavelli's, as well as psychopathy And narcissism at that was mostly there. The machoism was there, and my exes behaviour a lot he was telling me not to get tattoos, and not to get piercings because it wasn't his perspective of life, also, he tried to get me to convert to Christianity. Something I wouldn't want to do again because there is a lot of Marième and Christianity. I find I don't wanna say anything mean about a religion, but in this case there is. And this guy was the cause of Machiavellism and narcissism he was always controlling, and if you were to tell him otherwise, he would act like the one he was bleeding instead of stab you in the back. That was my act for you. I'm sorry if I bring this up to you too much, but this is something that I have to say is that there is a lot of medievalism, as well as a lot of narcissism that comes with my ex. All my exes had some trade in the dark triad. The last one before this asshole had all three trades of the dark try his name was Brian Varner! That being said, I was not too thrilled to meet him, but had to give him a try. But that didn't turn out well either so I go by someone's aura or if someone has a bad aura or a bad energy or I just don't like their energy I just assumed that they're part of the dark triad or they have all three of the dark triad, And move on with my life!

That being said, I am not want to act like I'm being the victim or nor am I the one that would control people except for myself that being said, I don't like the idea of controlling other people I have written a rap song on Machiavellism, And the shit that it pulls to Other people! Now I do not have very good spelling in this song, as I didn't know how to spell Mickey Avalon that being said, this is the song that I've written out of anger towards my ex, because he literally hit the Hang up button on the phone when I was in med. If it doesn't get any more controlling than that, I don't know what is. As if he has the upper hand I don't think so!

makivallism
a word that
I don't practice
a xoncept completely foreign to
me as I only have
kindness and not control
over
people
no homie you will not
see me controll you
for you got the dignity
Of a person prince
I find that love
will conquer
all instead hate
yo, you cannot control
human DNA
belief
nor orientation
yes makivallism
isn't a good fucking
word

That being said, if you left these kind of people when you lose and by letting them win, is by not doing the things you love when they happen to be in the same activity. Unfortunately, there are assholes everywhere. But if you decide to avoid a favour and activity, IE, me and basketball because of That say my asshole ex. That's just enough for me to say that I would be the one losing and he'd be the one winning. It would be a lot bad ass if I won the actual thing and I'm actually a good person. I remember still talking to exact one time and she did not have anything nice to say about him either, I remember correctly. I guess they are exes for a reason there to guide us to be in a better relationship. If they can avoid certain things, they will never have a knowledge to give us in the first place.  if I remember correctly. I guess they are exes for a reason to guide us to be in a better relationship if they can avoid certain things, they will never have the knowledge to give us in the first place but then they're also toxic, but the one that I was talking to was not toxic in the very least! That being said, I am not very enthused about going back to basketball basketball, but if I quit, the asshole wins and I lose out on everything! My plan is that he loses out on everything or at least tries to lose out on me. Because I am a decent human being and he missed out on that. I'm not gonna miss out on basketball because of his asshole behavior. This is kind of like aggressive positivity that I'm talking about where I'm kind of aggressive but I'm also trying to say that you have to be positive or else in narcissist, the Mackens and the other people like psychopath they will win if you do not keep being positive and being you !

How do I know I have too many MFers to prove against when it comes to my life. If I didn't have anything approved to them, I wouldn't be fighting half my day just survived the day. Even though most of my days are good nowadays. It is still important to know that the struggle is real. But it's important to enjoy the idea of living. Or else the assholes win!

This one I want to say, is in a form of a tattoo that I'm getting as well as in the form of a tattoo that inspired this tattoo

" Life is a beautiful struggle!"