Mia

Chapter Thirty-three: Freaking Out.

"Wait.....stop....." I utter under my heavy breath as I push Jace off me.

Jace and I were just getting intimate in his room.....on his bed.

This is like the fifth time that I'm ruining my intimate moment with Jace.

I don't know what is wrong with me.

I'd want to get intimate with Jace but I end up pulling away from him when the fun is just about to start.

But I realized something. I realized that I sorta freak out whenever I hear myself moan. I don't know why or how I do it.....freak out I mean.

At first I thought I wasn't ready but now that I feel ready, I'm messing things up.

Jace's hand was almost under my mini skirt before I pushed him off.

I see him run his hand on his hair in frustration and buries his face in his palms.

He's sitting on the end of his bed.

This must be really devastating for him.

Why do you keep doing this, Mia????

"Jace....I'm.....sorry." I say quietly sitting up on the bed.

"It's alright. You didn't do anything." Jace says quietly. He doesn't lift his head.

He's really upset....

I adjust to beside him.

"I freak out whenever I hear myself moan." I say.

Jace slowly lifts his head and looks at me.

"I don't know why or even when I do it. I know it sounds crazy but that's how it has been since that night in my room. Trust me, Jace, I really want this. I want it as much as you do and I'm sorry for always doing this to you." I say.

"Mia....it doesn't sound crazy and it's fine. You said you don't know when you do it so it's not your fault at all. I understand." Jace says.

"It's obviously not fine. You're clearly upset." I say.

"I may be upset but I understand you and I feel better now that you've explained your reason to me. I'm sorry for being upset as if I'm entitled or something. Sex is a choice and besides romantic relationships are not all about it. We do have so much fun without it, don't we?" Jace asks rhetorically.

I give out a weak smile.

"I really don't know what....."

Jace crashing his body against mine in a hug, interrupts what I wanna say.

"I already told you that it's fine. With or without sex, I still love you and I'd always love to spend time with you." Jace says.

I bury my face in Jace's chest.

"Thanks for understanding me." I say.

"It's nothing. What else would I do if I don't understand my girlfriend?" Jace asks rhetorically.

I smile as I pull away from him.

"I should go home. My friends and I have some studying to do." I say.

"I'm guessing that means you and I are over for today." Jace says.

"That's exactly what it means. We've had a long day today. We concluded the last topic for our session and we had our moment." I say.

"Yes, we did." Jace says.

"If we focus, we can finish our revision before Monday. I've to give you some days off to study on your own before the exams." I say.