a Primal Pursuit

twenty nine

I actually showered alone.

I know, baffling, right?

It felt great at first, but then... it grew somber. The moment I even picked up the shampoo, I was thinking about his fingers kneading my hair. The way he would lather my body in soap and then massage it in, purposely going harder on my ass and thighs.

I sighed when I stepped out, drying myself with a frown. I had thought that I would feel refreshed and free from stress, but it only made me sad. It made me realise how much he had weaselled his way into my everyday routine and how much I missed it when it was gone.

Damn dog.

Finishing up my nightly routine took longer than normal, too, and when I stepped out of the bathroom naked, my heart sank a little deeper at finding him not perched on the bed.

Where did he go?

Did he actually leave?

I didn't mean for this. I was just lost and angry that I was so alone when so much happened.

My frown deepened, the pang in my heart jostling the bond between the two of us. If I tuned into it, I could figure out where he was. When he was far, it felt like an echo, and when he was close, I felt warm and full. Right now, I felt lost in the middle.

Enough of that, Ailia. You're meant to be annoyed at him.

After closing the curtains and turning off the ceiling light, I grumpily climbed into bed nude. Seeing as I was alone, I may as well make the most of the clean sheets. No stinky ass wolf to ruin my fun and make me sweaty.

Right?

Laying on my side, I stared at the wall, trying to force my mind to be empty. It was difficult, my attention being grabbed by the space behind me. By now, Asra would have wrapped me in his arms, providing warmth and comfort. It wouldn't take me long to fall asleep, the vibrating of his chest and the warmth of the bond making me drowsy. Even when I was wide awake, his heartbeat soothed me like a lullaby.

The emptiness had my heart hurt too much and tears burn in my eyes. I didn't want them to fall and alert him of my sadness, so sniffed them right back up. Traitorous tears had nothing on me.

Grumbling to myself, I rolled until I lay in the middle of the bed, star-fished. Glaring up at the dull glow of the moon shining through the curtains, I huffed.

I wasn't sure how long I tossed and turned for, my body uncomfortable and mind unable to rest. I had kicked the duvet off in a tantrum ages ago, leaving my naked ass pointed to the room.

It was the moon's fault. Must be something up with it to make me not able to fall asleep.

Stupid moon.

My exasperation grew to the point I was about to throw myself off the bed and onto the floor. Frustrated tears pooled in my eyes as my body became too restless for my own good. But the moment I even contemplated knocking my head against the bedside table, footsteps sounded and the door creaked open.

"Are you ever going to sleep or am I going to drug you?"

I squealed, surprised at both the sudden stream of white light and Asra's body casting a shadow through it. I scrambled to grab the duvet from the floor, pulling it over my chest.

"What are you doing?" I breathed, my throat scratchy and dry.

He shut the door behind him and I had a hard time re-adjusting my eyes to the moonlit room. His shadowed figure walked closer to the bed until he was standing beside it.

"Have you been crying?"

"No." I frowned.

"It smells like tears."