More Junker Queen Oneshots ~REQUESTS OPEN~

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Odessa does not mean to hide her emotions on purpose. Unfortunately, she was the product of her environment. Banished from her home and had to fight for her life in The Wastelands. Only for some of her family to die and she had to deal with that as well, alongside with preparing herself for The Reckoning. Preparing to move on with her life and to finally be able to come back home. Well, she was able to come back home, but at what cost. Basically everything she ever knew and love. She had to leave her family behind in The Wastelands, but she visits every now and then.

And when we met, she was this hardened woman who rarely, if not at all, showed emotion. The only emotion she showed was rage and anger. It was hard to start a relationship with her, despite my massive crush on her and my willingness to wait and be patient with her. Even she said that she is a hard person to love. I was willing to give her a chance, but with her being emotionally unavailable at times, I wanted to give up on the working relationship we had. There were times I contemplated late at night on leaving her, but those strong feelings remained. So I remained, too.

The nightmares were another thing I had to get used to. I could never blame her for the nightmares and her trauma. Maybe that was a reason why she doesn't talk about it, because she had to deal with the majority of this by herself. There was no safe space for her. I tried to be that safe space for her, but it was still hard to let her know that she could be open with me. I sometimes feel I am the only one trying in this relationship. Sure she loves me and she shows it to me in her own way, but there are times where I don't feel like I am loved. Sometimes I think I am only around because she feels like she has to love me. I don't feel like she genuinely loves me. I try to ask her, but she tells me she does love me, but it doesn't sound like she does.

I was finally feeling my body starting to fall asleep when she lurched forward, her breathing heavily and she grabbed at the sheets beneath her. Sighing quietly, I sat up and placed my hand on her shoulder. She grabbed my hand and threw it off, getting up and walking into the bathroom. I let out a frustrated sigh as I sat up against the pillows. Thankfully neither of us had to get up early in the morning. Maybe I could get a chance to talk to her. After coming out from the bathroom, she sat down on the edge of the bed, her back facing me.

"Dez? Y-Ya alright, love?"

"Yeah," she said in a monotone voice.

"Is somethin' troublin' ya?"

"No. Just go back to sleep," she said with a bit of irritation in her voice.

It's not like she meant to be cold and harsh, but how she pushes me away says something else. I was tired of feeling like I wasn't loved and appreciated. I had to do something about it.

"Odessa," I said in a stern voice.

Her shoulders tensed up and her head sunk into her body a bit. I never usually say her first name unless I am being serious with her. Heaven forbid I say her first and last name. But she knows she really fucked up if I say her first, last and nickname together.

"Yes, Y/N?" she sighed.

"I feel like you don't love me like how I love you."

"What makes ya think that?" she asked in a tone that sounded like why I'm even asking her this at this time. Slightly irritated and annoyed.

"Well for starters, ya don't really try when being affectionate. I know ya had a hard upbringin' and it's because of that. I try to plan little dates for us and when its your turn, ya either forget or suggest we just watch a movie. I feel like ya don't try enough, Odessa. That I'm just 'ere for show. That you're this Queen of Junkertown and of course she has a significant other. Why wouldn't she? Both men and women are practically swooning and falling for 'er. I-I just feel like an object with ya. A plant that ya sometimes remember to water and half the time ya just stare at and wonder why ya even have it."