Memories (Gojo Satoru)

40 - Tragedy

Gojo is running urgently to the Jujutsu high medical care unit after he got a call that halt his entire world.

Gojo ran fast as he could towards the clinic, his heart pounding against his chest and anxiety clouding his mind.

'Please.....don't let it be serious. Just a small injury... something that she can recover from quickly, right..? This isn't even that big of a deal, right...? Dammit!! I knew I shouldn't have let her gone for that mission!! I always had a bad feeling about it anyway!!'

She have just gone for a small mission. What has happened? All he knew was he wanted to know right now that his wife was alright...

Gojo was trying to remain calm as he continued running. 'Even if she got hurt while fighting against someone...she will be fine....she has experience..she knows how to handle herself...she will be fine...'

The more he tried to reassure himself, the less believable it sounded. He felt like throwing up by the anxiety he was having within him.

Upon reaching the medical unit in the Jujutsu high, Gojo quickly darted his eyes all around the clinic in a frantic attempt to locate the one he was looking for, a sense of panic brewing inside him.

"RIN!? Where are you!?"

He sees her lifelessly laying on the gurney, while Shoko, and injured Maki, looks at him.

Rin was badly injured and her long hair was trimmed to shoulder length roughly, as if it was forcibly cut. There was dried blood on her body, she had lost an arm, and half of her jaw was missing. It was a horrific  sight for him, especially on someone who meant the world to him.

"Gojo...." Shoko frowned sadly.

"R-Rin..." He muttered, frozen in place as he stared at her.

"I'm sorry... I couldn't protect her..." Maki looked down in guilt and sadness.

Shoko looked away and took her gloves off.

"She's beyond gone, Gojo .." she sighed and clenched her fists. "Looks like the thing we were most afraid of has happened, the higher ups really did it this time. I can't believe it."

Gojo stiffened at her words and looked down at her, not able to believe what he was hearing.

He reached down and placed his hands on her, feeling the warmth of her body fading away and the lack of any heartbeat or pulse. He froze up, the feeling of emptiness and helpless washing over him.

"No..." he whispered in disbelief. "That doesn't make sense...she can't die like this..."

Shoko looks sadly at him.

"Gojo..."

He shook his head, not wanting to accept the truth. It just couldn't be true...not like this...

He stared at her body in disbelief, as his mind began to race with a flurry of different thoughts all at once, a million possibilities running through his head. "No..." 

The thought of losing her forever was too much for him to take in. He tried to speak, but the words could not come out.

"Please..." he whispered. "Don't take her away from me..."

He rubbed her hands as he looked at her.

"Wake up goddamn it!!"

He clenched his eyes shut tight, feeling his heart tear in pieces as he let go of her hands and looked away, unable to bear the sight any longer.

Shoko swallowed a lump.

"Time of death... 12:53 AM... 23rd of Decemb-"

"SHUT UP!!" Gojo glared. "Don't... don't you say that, Shoko!"

Gojo's body and heart froze in place at the sound of the exact time of her death.

The crushing weight of the feeling of helplessness and guilt was almost unbearable.

'If only I had been there...if only I had been there with her...then this wouldn't have happened....I couldn't even be there for her in her last moments....'

He then picked her up before holding her close.

Gojo cradled her lifeless body, his heart breaking into a million pieces as the grief and emotions hit him with a force that felt like a wrecking ball pounding at his chest.

He could feel tears stinging his eyes and streaming down his cheeks as he held her body close with all the strength he had left.

'How could this have happened...'

"Please leave me alone for a while."

Shoko and Maki were surprised to here him say that.

"But Gojo-"

It sounded unreal hearing himself say those words. Never before had he been in such a state of grief where he wanted to be by himself. And yet...he could not even look at the people around him, let alone speak with them.

"Please..." He echoed softly, holding her body tighter as his breath hitched back, feeling like his heart was going to be ripped out of his chest. "Just...please..."

Maki frowned. "Sensei-"

Gojo closed his eyes tightly and buried his face into her chest, his breath hitching and shaking with each tear that he couldn't prevent from falling.

"Just leave me alone..." He muttered.

Shoko held Maki's arm to hold her back and gave her a nod, before they exited the room to leave him alone.

Gojo tried to hold back his emotions as the silence surrounded him, the only sound being the shallow breaths he took as he held her lifeless body close to him.

He wanted to scream...to cry...to let it all out. But all he could manage were small whimpers and whispers as more tears streamed down his cheeks.

He knew. There was no doubt, that the higher ups had a hand in this.

Gojo gripped her lifeless body tighter to him, a sudden surge of rage and resentment taking over his mind.

It was all their fault...they were the ones who sent her on this mission...they were the ones who forced her to deal with it...

His voice shook with anger when he said the following.

"Who did this...who did this to you..."

His voice was muffled, his anger clouding his reason as he hugged her body tighter.

Gojo let out a low groan, holding her body even tighter as a flood of emotions began rushing through his mind.

"...damn every single one of those bastards..."

He started talking more to himself than to her lifeless body, the rage building within him like an unstoppable wildfire.

"Damn them all..." He repeated, the hate and resentment growing with each word.

"Those shitheads...they always treated you like some goddamn pawn..."

He was getting angrier the more he thought of it.

"They never gave you any respect at all...those damn bastards never gave you the credit you deserved...they didn't even bother to take consider you. They have always...always...wanted to get rid of you..."

He sniffed and whispered as he kissed her forehead.

"I will kill every single one of them..."