Tired

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my photography teacher is yapping again. so ofc, the only logical course of action is to type away until he lets us free. enjoy! :)

***

The transition from Initiate to Padawan had been an uphill climb the instant she'd set foot on Christophsis.

Being a Padawan was much harder than Ahsoka could ever have anticipated, and being Master Skywalker's apprentice meant she was constantly being scrutinized and judged for her every move.

It was exhausting.

Anakin was strict, expecting her to always get good grades and be on top of her studies while finding even the smallest of opportunities to train in her meagre downtime, but he was also compassionate and understanding, hardly ever unreasonable. The two of them had settled into a comfortable routine fairly quickly, and Ahsoka found that despite the difficulties, she liked being a Padawan. She liked Anakin and his engaging teaching methods; concise and to-the-point, yet playful and interactive at the same time. Six months had flown by and he'd quickly become something of an older brother to her; they were two pearls from the same shell, inseparable. He was family, and she'd protect him at all costs.

A year into her Padawanship, Ahsoka was excelling at what she did and had quickly become one of the most promising apprentices in the Order. As her skillset grew, so did she. She'd begun to notice details she hadn't seen before, like despite having rested for eight hours the previous night, Anakin's eyelids always seemed heavier the following morning than before he'd gone to bed. The shadows beneath his eyes got darker each time she saw him, like stubborn smudges of soot that refused to be washed off, and he drank progressively more caf just to be able to get through the day.

Her master, she realized with a heavy heart, was struggling.

He always put on a brave front for her and the men, leading with courage and compassion, but even the strongest glass would eventually shatter.

***

Ahsoka's montral twitched the next morning, having picked up on the quiet noises of someone moving around in the kitchen, undoubtedly making breakfast. 

Her Master had an early Council meeting today, and a glance at the chrono told her that he was, in typical Anakin fashion, running late yet again... which, gave her an idea. Since he was busy (and thought she was still asleep), she'd have time to throw a little something together for later. Mind set and plan in place, Ahsoka crept over to the bathroom, grabbed a few little glass vials and began mixing. 

*** 

An hour later, she was curled up comfortably on the couch, finishing her final touches when familiar footsteps approached. 

"Hey, Skyguy. How did the meeting go?" 

"You're up early," Anakin remarked, a light grin tugging at his lips. "Meeting was alright, nothing new. Pretty much just listened to Windu, Yoda and Mundi discuss politics again." 

Ahsoka stared at him for a moment, her blue eyes narrowing in suspicion at his chipper attitude. "You seem amused, and you and I both know that's the opposite of what Council meetings are like. What aren't you telling me, Master?"  

A dejected breath fell from his lips. His eyelids fluttered shut, and two of his fingers came to rest on the bridge of his nose, massaging it gently. 

"It's... complicated." 

She hesitated, almost afraid to ask. "D'you... wanna talk about it?"

Anakin ran his hand frustratedly through his hair, and it was evident in the way his shoulders seemed to curl in on themselves that that meeting had not gone how he'd hoped it would. "Maybe another time."

She let him be after that, but he wasn't getting off the hook so easily. She had yet to show him what she'd been working on, so later that day, Ahsoka invited Anakin to sit with her for a while under the guise of needing help with homework. 

He agreed, and dropped down onto the couch with a tired huff, expecting drills or theory discussions. Except, her datapad was nowhere in sight, and he found a collection of small foundation bottles on the table instead. Skywalker's eyebrows scrunched together, confusion marring his features.

"Snips, what's this?"

"Just... listen, Master. Please?" Her tone was gentle, and something else in her voice he couldn't quite place. Whatever it was, it made him comply without any further question. 

Ahsoka, with a casual swipe of her hand, briefly introduced each bottle until her fingers landed on the last vial. She met her teacher's questioning gaze with a resolute one of her own. "Are you alright, Master?" 

She fixed him with a firm gaze, and though it was not unkind, Anakin felt pinned to the spot. She was too perceptive, and her eyes were like x-rays, piercing right through him and seeing the vulnerabilities and pent-up emotions he hadn't wanted her to see. 

"I'm perfectly fine," he answered tersely, the words coming out more snappy than he'd wanted them to.

"I'm not sure if I can agree with that." 

Was that a tinge of sorrow he'd picked up in her voice? 

"You see, I've been noticing some things, and... put simply, I'm worried about you, Master. You've been going to bed at a reasonable time but in the morning, you're really struggling to stay awake, and those shadows under your eyes seem to be getting darker each day. I'm worried you're not resting well enough, and that that's taking a severe toll on you mentally and physically." 

He gaped at her, but she wasn't done. "I'm don't know if you're even aware of this, but you drink more and more caf just to be able to get through the day. I think you've been carrying too much, Skyguy. You're human, and there's nothing wrong with feeling or showing emotions. You do so much for me," she said, raising the final little glass vial, "so let me do this one small thing for you."

Anakin surrendered, the fight draining out of him completely. It wasn't that he wasn't touched — he was, truly — but he was wary of how easy it was becoming for her to read him. It was soothing, and for a moment, he allowed himself to just be, leaning slightly into her touch. Here, now, he wasn't the Chosen One, wasn't the General of the 501st. He was just Anakin, cared for by his beloved Padawan.

When she finally stepped back and handed him a mirror, he was almost surprised at the face looking back at him. The smudges of shadows that had become all too familiar were gone, even if it was only for a while. 

"You didn't have to do this, you know." 

"I know." 

They sat, side by side, in a comfortable silence. Ahsoka's head dropped onto Anakin's shoulder, reminding him- them both- that their bond was stronger than any battle they'd fought, and for now, that was enough.

***

i am SO sorry for publishing this so late... i feel like a guilty student turning in a late assignment right now (that i very much AM... i have one assignment i keep putting off and now it's overdue by a month =D ).

this was supposed to be short but i ended up fleshing it out more and editing until i was happy with it took time :,)

please accept this offering from me, i'll do my best to update again on wednesday or friday of this week :)

comments and votes are appreciated as always; cheers! 
- jazzy



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⏰ Last updated: Apr 08 ⏰

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