Under the Italian Sun

Chapter 37

Domenico's POV

The past two weeks have been utter hell. Not only is Anna not talking to me, but my mother is avoiding me like the pest as well. After Mika left, I completely lost it. On my way to the airport I was filled with doubts, so I ended up not going. She would be better off without me and the drama that surrounds me was what I thought. That's why ended up talking to HR to send her much more than the salary that she was supposed to get. It was somehow to make up for what happened and to ease my conscience.

I also ended up breaking off my engagement to Arianna, much to my mother's dismay. After days of trying to make me change my mind and swearing at me, she accepted that I wasn't going to change my mind and stopped talking to me. Arianna didn't take it well at all, but after a lot of negotiations, involving a lot of money, she finally went home. I was relieved and thought that I could finally rest. But then Anna ended up on my doorstep one night terribly drunk. She swore at me and told me that I deserved to never be happy after what I've done. After she settled, she showed me a file on her phone. It was documents pertaining to Mika's divorce. It stated everything from the abuse that she went through up to the harassment she is faced-including the part of the naked pictures. To say I felt like the biggest idiot on earth is an understatement. For the first time in my grownup life I felt like crying. Crying over the girl that I've known for such a little time, but who settled into my heart very quickly. Crying for what could've been. Crying for how I should've acted, but didn't, but mostly to cry for the fact that I won't see her again. Needless to say that Anna saw my inner turmoil and her response was that I deserved it and more, whereafter she left. She never spoke to me again. I tried calling her and left her messages, but she totally ignored me.

I've been playing with the thought of calling Mika so many times, but my shame wouldn't allow me. My own sister hated me for everything I did to Mika, so I knew that she wouldn't even talk to me. Why would she? I believed the worst about her without ever given her a chance to explain her side of the story. In my fear of my own feelings I allowed myself and my mother to treat her like trash. Hell, I don't even think I will be able to forgive myself. So I settled with the memory of her, knowing that nothing I do would ever bring her back.