Can You See My Heart? (Pontevedra Series #4)

Kabanata 40

Kneel.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit mukhang mas galit pa siya sa akin samantalang siya itong nagpahamak sa anak namin. Iniwan niya ako matapos niyang sabihin iyon. Alam kong kailangan ko nang tigilan itong nararamdaman ko sa kaniya. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit hinihintay ko pa na lumala ang nangyari bago ko siya tuluyang pakawalan.

Gabriella left the Pontevedra. Ang family ko pala ang may kasalanan kung bakit namatay si Tita Ayla. Namatay siya habang kasama si Kuya Cartier sa labas. The bullet was supposed to be for my Kuya. Maybe that's our business rival. Daddy tried to hide that but Gabriella and her father heard them talking about it reason why Gab left.

Rei and I went home in Manila after all of that. Iyak ako nang iyak sa byahe. Rei was trying to comfort me but I just couldn't stop myself from crying. I decided to left the Philippines. Rei understands it. She supported me with my decision.

Everyone knew that my family was the reason but they didn't know that it was because of Xander. I am trying to move on. He hurt me so bad that I don't know how to stand on my own. I don't even know how to pick up myself.

Xander was right. I won't be happy. Kahit ilang kilometro ang inilapad ko makalayo lang sa kaniya, hindi ko pa rin siya makalimutan. In the middle of the night, I felt that someone is choking me. Reason why I became so invested with necklaces. Nawawala ang masasamang alaala ng pagkakasakal sa akin ni Xander kapag naka-suot ako ng kwintas.

I get dependent on alcohol because I can't sleep without it. I always have a nightmare about my baby. I tried going to a psychiatrist to at least help myself to move on but I didn't continue. I'm scared that I might forgot about my child. I don't want to lose its memory with me even though it wasn't good.

Ilang taon ang lumipas at tama nga si Alexander hindi ko nga siya makakalimutan dahil hanggang ngayon, nandito na naman ako sa harapan niya. Nagmamakaawa na naman sa kaniya.

"You didn't just kill my loving child. You also violated my best friend!"

Para akong mababaliw sa lahat ng nalaman ko. Xander violated my best friend. He fucking rape her that it was so hard to accept that he was capable of doing that. He used to be perfect. He used to be an ideal man. Tang ina! How could he do that? Ang hirap tanggapin. Hindi ko kayang masikmura na kaya niyang gawin iyon.

Second is that I lost my memory back when I was a child. Naaksidente ako and my family kept it as a secret. Xander's father was my driver back then and that's how he died. He blamed us for that accident which caused him to have his revenge.

I always think that he was so smart— that he was so intelligent but now, I doubt that. Sino bang may gusto na may maaksidente? And does he putting the blame on us when I, also, met that accident?

"Please, leave, Charlynn. I don't want you her—"

Malakas ko siyang sinampal. Nakaluhod siya kaya malaya ko siyang naaabot. Tumingala siya sa akin at sinubukang hulihin ang kamay ko pero dahil nakaposas siya, hindi siya nagtagumpay roon.

Heck! Even if he's not wearing one, I won't allow him to touch me. Everything about him disgusts me. I am so fucking stupid to love someone like him.

"Am I also part of your revenge, Xander? Everything that you showed me, is that also part of your plan?" Tanong ko.

I waited for his answer but he didn't talked. He just looked at me with sorrowful eyes. His eyes were filled with sadness that I don't know where it came from. If he didn't love me, why does he look at me like this?

"Am I not enough to sate you?" Mahinahon kong tanong. "Hindi ba ako naging sapat na nagawa mo pang gawin kay Reisha iyon!" Sumigaw ako.

Yumuko ako para matingnan siya. Nanatili siyang nakatingala pero ang mga paa niya ay parehas na nakasalampak na sa sahig.