Too Much Love Will Kill You

For Freddie

Monday April 20th, 1992

It's been months since his passing. My life now is nothing like it used to be. Although it's spring and it's colorful outside everywhere I look I see gray. My whole world is gray. Today was going to be a very emotional day. Today was Freddie's tribute concert.

Although I love freddie and all the proceeds are going towards a AID's cure all I could think about was him. I already do now. We had arrived at the stadium and everyone was practicing. Guess who else was practicing? Me.

Yes I was practicing. I was preforming one song and that was 'somebody to love'. George Michael was originally gonna preform it but all the Queen members wanted me to preform one. I had pleaded no but dad wouldn't accept that. He told me I was going to do it.

It's not that I didn't want to but I didn't want to for two reasons. One being I would probably break down and cry, Secondly I didn't want everyone to know who my father was. Not that I was ashamed of my dad but in the music business I didn't want to be known for my dad.

As everyone went on break I walked around the stage wearing Freddie's Red sweat shirt with yellow letters that read 'moving up joyy', his flash Gordon tshirt underneath, High waisted jeans, and wrestling shoes that were like Freddie's. Freddie's distinct smell was still on the sweatshirt.

I feared the day that the sweatshirts would stop smelling like Freddie. I knew that day was to come so I tired soaking it all in. I felt tears sting my eyes at the thought of him. Freddie...

" So your Rogers kid" I turned around and Robert plant stood there.

I had met him before back at live aid in '85. I was about 4 then but I still remembered him quite clearly. Freddie was holding me and he was talking to Robert. Robert kept playing with my hair and kept telling me how cute I was. I'm guessing he thinks I've forgot when we met.

" Yes I am, I'm Hazel we met back at live Aid in '85 correct " I asked sticking my hand out for him to shake.

" Yes we did I'm surprised you remember" He said laughing, shaking my hand, and then putting his hands on his hips.

" Good memory I suppose" I laughed putting on a fake smile.

" How are you I mean I've heard from your father how your taking all this" I knew what he meant and I couldn't and wouldn't talk about it.

" I'd rather not talk about that Mr.Plant" I told him as the fake smile faded and I looked towards the ground.

I bit my lip holding all the tears in. His warm brown eyes flashed in my mind. I closed my eyes and my breath became unsteady.

" Sorry love but please call me Robert or Robbie if you wish" He patted my shoulder before walking away back to everyone else.

I walked to the edge of the stage. I had my arms out and was twisting my body. I looked up into the sky. I sighed before looking out into the arena. I looked out at the place that I would have to preform tonight.

I wasn't gonna count this as a actual performance. This isn't what Freddie meant by following my dreams. This is only a tribute. This isn't music I've written this is Freddie's. I looked back up into the sky.

"I still love you" I whispered before sitting down and let the tears pour.

I missed Uncle Freddie and Uncle Joe so much. No offense to Uncle Joe but I missed Uncle Freddie more. Uncle Phoebe and Uncle Jim luckily were still alive. Mary kicked uncle Jim out so he moved back to Ireland. I wouldn't talk to Mary at all now because of it.

Uncle Phoebe I'm not sure where he went. I call them both though anytime I can. I wiped the tears away and breathed in the sent of the sweatshirt.
Oh my Freddie...