Cigarettes, Rebels And Me, #1 ✔

Chapter 21 - Ella Collins Is Never Done With Tears

.Chapter 21 - Ella Collins Is Never Done With Tears.

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"You're lips are so sexy."

The moment these words roll out of Colton's mouth, I would've liked to say that I forget about everything else; all my problems... but I don't.

I just stare at him in disbelief.

"What-What are you..." I splutter, anger threatening to spout out. "Colton, what are you..."

My eyes start to water and then tears slowly join the already present wetness on my cheeks.

"D-Don't cry, Ella, I-" Colton begins, looking as confused and bewildered as I am feeling. "Shit, shit. I'm sorry, I'm not good at the comforting shit."

But when he sees my expression, his face falls and he blabbers, "Not shit, it's not shit, but I just-"

"Colton," I interrupt his rambling, a small smile on my face despite my emotional state. "It's okay, you-you don't have to apologize. If it's anyone's fault, it's..." I trail off, staring off into space.

The most weird thing is that when I expected myself to howl my eyes out after getting caught in the small bomb my Mom threw at me, I'm actually done with the tears.

And I, Ella Collins, is never done with tears.

I don't know what's happening to me, but the tears won't just come.

"Ella," Colton's voice snaps me out of my reverie and I jump slightly, causing him to flash me a small, awkward smile; he is a little hesitant in his actions.

"I-I'd like to stay alone, Colton," I blurt out, casting a sideway look at the tattooed guy. An unfamiliar look glints in his eyes and he looks at his feet, then back at me.

"Whatever works with you," he mumbles, his jaw clenching, causing the veins on his neck, where the dragon tattoo is inked, to pop out; I swear I hear his voice crack. Turning around on his heel, he starts walking away and it breaks my heart a little when I realize he didn't insist on staying, like they do in books.

But my life isn't exactly a book, is it?

My life isn't perfect.

It's far from it.

Everything is so messed up and confusing, that it leaves my heart and mind in a frenzy. My eyes follow the way Colton's feet make a small noise with the floor; a slight wind keeps blowing on my face, making my hair fly; but Colton doesn't come running to me to hug me and comfort me while I cry, nor does he gently tuck a stray strand of my flying hair behind my ear.

That is why I say: my life isn't a book; it will never be. I will always be this - this mistake of a child; this shy, timid girl who can't even voice her thoughts or act out recklessly even once, unless she's told that she was never meant to be born. Never meant to open her eyes.

"They shouldn't have kept me if they didn't want me," I whisper to myself, looking up at the sky and running my fingers through my hair, holding them up. Rolling my taut neck once to free it from the tension, I close my eyes, beckoning the tears.