One Problem (camren)

Chapter 36

I was literally freaking out in the roomy bathroom of my hotel room while Lauren was out talking to Dinah. I was so close to hyperventilating, I think I was now. I didn't know how to get my breathing under control. The game was only 3 and half hours away and I was literally crying to myself. I was so scared and I didn't know what to do. I was already stressing out about the guaranteed (everything paid off) scholarship that UCLA promised me if I did good.

Then I was freaking out about how far that was and I started to cry even more knowing I was lying to Lauren. I think she knows but I could be wrong and she could be totally blindsided by it. I held onto the counter and tried to take deep breaths but I started to feel more lightheaded and the air get more thick. I looked into the mirror seeing the fresh uniform on my body and my hair nicely done.

My cleats were tapping away against the tiled floor and my hands were turning white as I held onto the counter for dear life. I knew I was having a panic attack and I locked the door so Lauren wouldn't be able to get in. Now that I was actually thinking and I knew I was going to pass out, it would have been a good idea to keep the door unlocked.

My chest was heaving and I started to sob into the thick air while I accidentally swayed. I needed to leave but I also needed to stay and I was so conflicted about everything that was going on in my life right now. Lauren was my life but she was stubborn and would disagree even though she'd say the same.

I wanted to scream on the top of my lungs just to get it out but Lauren would come in. I didn't want to be around her right now because I'd just feel guilty about everything. But then I needed to be around her like I was a lost puppy and she had food in her hands. I felt so hopeless and lost without her and when she was here I tried to show how much she means to me and I don't think I was doing a good job.

I craved her and it was the best and worst feeling in the world and it just made me crazy. I honestly wanted to rip my hair out and cry forever at the moment but I thought about Lauren. My mind was consumed by her, it was always Lauren Michelle Jauregui and what she'd think. I felt so disrespectful to my parents because they were the one's I was supposed to think about first right? Or at least myself and my little sister?

But no, it was only about Lauren and I felt horrible but tried to please her at the same time. I was feeling so many mixed emotions I needed to cry or scream or anything. I felt suffocated in the surprisingly big bathroom and I needed to get out before I pass out on the cold floor. I needed to run away and get away but...I thought about Lauren.

I just needed to leave right now and just go down to the garden to get some fresh air. I let go of the counter and I almost fell to the ground while my vision dimmed out a little. I grabbed onto the wall by the door and I heard a knock.

"Baby? You okay in there? It's your turn to get your face painted."I heard Lauren's voice and I cried a little harder but tried to be silent.

"I-I'll be out in a m- I actually c-can't I need to go for a second."I said and she tried to open the door but it was still locked.

"Camz? Baby open the door please."She said through the door and I tried to breathe evenly but I couldn't.

"I-I c-can't right now"I said and I sunk to my knees before dropping to my but seeing my senses dimming out.

"Camila I need you to open the door for me okay? So I can help you okay?"She said and her voice full of worry and concern.

"Laur- I c-can't."I breathes out and I literally couldn't get back up for some reason.

I was seeing double vision and it was dimming out to black and little sparks. I felt really heavy and I couldn't stop breathing heavily it felt like I was running a mile but still had breath at the same time. I then felt sweat trickle down my face and body making the uniforms fabric stick to me. I could hear Lauren's faint voice yelling and I was confused because it sounded like she was so far away.