These are still texts :)
Please don't forget they're all texts, it'll ruin the purpose if you do forget.
------1
Son: Mom can you lend me some money?
Mom: No! Do you think money grows on trees!?
Son: what is money made of?
Mom: paper
Son: where does paper come from?
Mom: ....
Son: exactly
------2
Son: Hey dad remember when I killed that butterfly and you said "No butter for a week"?
Dad: yeah?
And when I killed that honeybee, you said "No honey for a week"
Dad: yeah that was a month ago, so what?
Son: well mom just killed a cockroach, should I break it to her?
Dad: ...
------3
Her: I miss you
Him: Good. I miss me too
Her: Damn. But I'm serious, I want you back. Do you want me?
Him: in a coffin
------4
Him: I want you back
Him: your the sun in my world
Him: I love you
Her: you're*
Him: -.- that's all you gotta say?
Her: nope. You're the shit in my toilet :D
------5
Regina: Emily, when was the last time you got some dick
Keesha: Last time yo n*gga wasn't textin you back
------6
Her: hey what's up?
Other girl: nothin much, just chillin you?
Her: at this seafood restaurant -.-
Other girl: why that face lol
Her: I'm literally plugging my nose, I hate the smell of fish
Other girl: why would you plug your nose?
Other girl: All you have to do is close your leg
------7
Him: my dick is so hard
Her: to find
------8
Son: hey what's up?
Dad: gas prices.
Son: Lol dad, I meant like what are you doing?
Dad: your mom
Son: I wanna move out.
------9
THE GIRL IS ACTUALLY HER DAD SO REMEMBER THIS IS A TEXT!
Dude: hey you the hot girl that works at chipotle?
Girl: no this Is her father
Dude: okay tell your daughter she has a nice ass
------10
Ex: hey
You: not today satan
------11
Fag: Virgin alert! Wowowowowowwwwoooooowooo
Me: thanks for announcing your arrival
YOU ARE READING
Sarcastic comebacks
RandomA random idea I thought of in history And started in history And updated in history Because history class makes you want to hibernate :)
