Endless loop of madness - William afton X reader

51 - Something Different; Something New

I cried, looking around this loft Bedroom where I found myself in, defenceless and only covered by a vest and underwear. Fearfully looking around, seeing this small window on the wall, and the bed that I was in was a lifted up mattress, with a thick, weighted blanket over my youthful body. surrounding me were multiple pillows, who needed all these pillows who didn't have constant pain, oh wait. I did. My body used ache all the time, but I had to work through it, the pain. though now, I didn't feel the pain. A rug between the bed and the vanity that had completed with a mess of makeup, hair supplies, and a lot worse. A box of magazines hidden away under the vanity with a knitted blanket covering them. Next to that is a dresser with more junk on top.

I scrambled to the vanity to try to see myself, and the sight of me. The me. Me. The sight truly left me frozen in my tracks. I couldn't. The mirror showed the harsh truth. It was over. My beautiful life. Gone.

No.

No. No. No.

My love. My adoring husband, my Richard. Gone. No longer mine. I hadn't got to fix the problem! I didn't get to say sorry and hear him say he forgave me. It was really bad timing, but why then! Why not a week before, when my week was mostly me working.

Panic and fear set in my mind, rattling my stomach as I wailed my poor heart out, seeing no wrinkles on my fresher, youthful face, that's never seen 43 years of life. Not a single stand of grey hair from years of living with the added 2 teenagers, work and a husband that was slowly losing his back in his 50s. Our family. Gone. My family.

The enjoyment of Richard never faded though, not the lust, the love or any other strong unyielding emotions, while the last loop taunting my memories like haunting phantoms that corrupted into these newer memories. It was like he was all but a dream in my memories, but it was real. I remembered living it all, the feelings, the sensations, our love, my feelings and passion. It was all real, and my mind still scorned by it all, with other things crammed inside of my brain. I still loved Richard, I still wanted my life with him.

I wanted my beautiful family, but all I have is this life back to being helpless, poor old me with nobody. I had nobody. No love. No friends. But I felt wronged, robbed, and why should I feel like this? Why should put up with having everything stolen from me, just cause that stupid bastard died? Oh, that fucking bastard.

I'll make him regret dying. An idea came to mind, but it was a risky thing to pull off. I didn't know where he was, what he was doing, or if he was still around the same town as I. I didn't know where I was. All I knew was this constantly consuming anger that burned through reasonable thought to manage it. Unyielding spite and rage, that grew from the last time I saw him, far past simmering on a back burner.

I wanted something, and I couldn't wait to see that something.

My thoughts forced out a laugh through the tears and the long weeps, that why mournful sobs twisted into something unnatural.

I fell back onto the bed, making sound that didn't seem possible, between a insane laugh and sobs of someone lost everything, until I tired myself out, worn my voice, and my eyes ached from all of the tears that fell from it and the pillow I buried my face into was stained by my anguish.

After a long nap, I crept down to the bathroom.

As water showed down on my naked body, lingering by the touch of my fingers along my skin. Fresh. Unharmed. Scarless skin. Perfect healthy skin on a body that felt physically better.

Softer skin on my beautiful body, that easy to slide my hand long without cringing at the feeling. How wonderful on the touch. Beauty. I've never touch myself in a long time, never been able to see my bare body like this, but here I was like this. It disgusted me in a different way but god. I missed seeing my body not living on it's last limb.