The Rain | Cricky [C]

Chapter 1 | It's All Your Fault

His eyes, silver as the full moon, shot daggers into mine. Our breaths shared the same space, with neither of us willing to give the other an inch of room. I held the air in my lungs tightly while I stood sandwiched between the wall and his chest. A combination of anger and lust stirred in the air. Being this close, we both were getting turned on of course, but he wouldn't ignore the fact he was pissed. I've upset him before, just never like this. Normally, he'd just get a few physical or verbal hits in on me and leave it at that. Right now, he just looked as if he was trying to bury confusion and loss under a thick layer of spitefulness.

Ghost brought his mouth closer to mine, as if he was going to kiss me. He paused about an inch from my lips as he murmured, "I don't understand." I could feel his warm breath dusting my skin. His eyes dropped and his hands gently played with the buttons of my shirt. "Am I not enough?" He suddenly questioned, darting his sights back to mine.

I sharply caught my breath after his unexpected words. His irises shook, waiting on my response. I ran my hand along his upper arm, feeling the knit of his sweater under my palm. Unfortunately no amount of comforting would reverse my hesitation. He saw straight through me like a glass window. Ghost huffed and shoved me back into the wall. He then walked away, swiping his coffee off the counter. I took the small moment in time to breathe and run my hand through my messy hair.

He took a seat in the window seal, pulling his legs up to his chest. Ghost rested his head against the window and grasped his coffee mug closely, as if it was the only thing he had left to hold onto. At this point, it may of well have been. I've known how many men and woman have scarred him, and I swore I'd never let my name be added to that list. Now look where we stand.

I can't ignore the fact he looks absolutely gorgeous. The sun shined against his phantom-like skin and metallic eyes. His dark hair was still messy from our fun the night before. With just a loose fitting sweater and tight black shorts, he looked cold. I wanted to comfort him, but I knew he'd push me away. Right now, he'd rather be freezing alone than warmed by my touch.

"You know this isn't your fault." I told him as I leaned against the kitchen counter.

Ghost refused to look at me. Instead, he stared down into his coffee as he replied, "You said it yourself, Chris. You're tired of me."

"It's not your fault that you're too dominant for me. I enjoy having you in my bed, but I'm not going to force you to change just to keep you there." I responded.

My attempts to comfort him and warm his typically cold heart were failing. I walked over to where he sat in the window seat and kneeled down. Ghost ignored me, acting as if I had become his namesake. A sigh fell from my pierced lips when I realized I was getting nowhere. I had never planned to hurt him this way, but perhaps my words came out wrong earlier. All I wanted was to accommodate my needs while considering his feelings.

"This doesn't mean I don't want a relationship." I ever so delicately spoke to him.

He slyly, almost spitefully, glanced down at me out of the corner of his eye. His eyes followed me as I stood back up. He was quiet, which I took as weakness and consideration. Ghost tends to shut down when his mind is trying to process something. I was cautious in my movements, but still dared to take his coffee away from him. The fear of doing so was like I was trying to take a steak bone from a German Shepard. He didn't argue as I set his mug on the counter behind me.

I sat down at the end of the window seat. Gently, I directed his legs to the side so he'd sit up straight. Ghost didn't say a word as he waited to figure out what I was doing. I pulled him in, as close as I could. Titling my head downward, I kissed him. Our lips meeting and parting comfortably perked in the silence. He let me break down his wall once again. Ghost leaned his body against mine, snuggling into me.

"What if you fall in love with someone else?" He asked.

"I won't." I replied, "I promise, I love you and only you."

He got more comfortable in my arms, yet whined my name. "But Chris," He pouted as his frustration stole his words, "You do remember that's how we met, right? I was just your play thing. Then you fell in love with me. What if you fall in love with you new toy like you did with me?"

"You assume I'm only getting one." I jokingly said as I tried to lighten his spirits. He gave me a worried look, to which I laughed, "I'm just kidding, Babe. You know you're the only one I love. You're irreplaceable. That's why I put that ring on your finger. And, I promise I will be merciless with the new one... or ones. That way there's no way they could develop Stockholm Syndrome."

"What if they can't resist your devilish good looks?" Ghost teased me.

"Mmm, okay, okay. How about we do this; I'll take some of Nikki's slaves that are on the market and kind of foster them. That way, they come and go so often I can't have time to get attached to them. Does that sound good?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I guess." He muttered, letting his head fall against my chest.

Ghost still wasn't all too happy about this decision. I wish he could see, I'm doing this to help our relationship. When I try to command him in the bedroom, he get's pissed. He tells me he hates being treated as a slave because I promised I'd stop degrading him like that. It took him so long to break away from that life. I understand why he doesn't want a fiance that pushes him around, but I can't ignore my addiction to control.

I constantly crave the ability to put people in their place. It takes everything in me to not revert to Ghost and I's original relationship of Master and slave. I continuously find myself wanting to hit him when he talks back to me. Then, I remind myself that I promised I would treat him as a lover, not a submissive. It's been difficult though. I don't have anything to control or let my anger upon. That's why I have to get another slave or two, even if he isn't happy with the decision.