Hours later, we were watching television. I was tucked in tight into his chest, his arms tight around me. It was silent, but I was enjoying his company. I wasn't paying attention to the movie, he pulled my attention from it sighing for the hundredth time since the movie started.
I look up at him. The torn still in eyes, and it was starting to worry me. But, the smile on his perfect lips is reassuring. I am so confused. "Everything okay babe?"
He leans in kissing the tip of my nose. His eyes close and when he rests his forehead against mine he plants another huge smile on his face. "Perrrfect!"
Than what was with the torn look in his eyes. "Than why do you look worried?"
His eyes open slowly, and the looks shows more. "I just got something on my mind. It's been there for a while now, but not to this extent. I'm trying to push it back for a later time." He smiles at me. "But I just can't when what happened earlier happens. I never want that to end. I want that for the rest..." He stops. Looking into my eyes for any hint that he gave his secret away.
I was still lost. I couldn't possibly think what was bothering him so much. I sit up, looking deep into his eyes. "It's nothing bad, I promise. It's just not the time right now."
"I'm worried though, can you please tell me?" Is he leaving me for tour? Is he afraid if he asked if I wanted to go that I would turn him down? Would he even ask if he left? "I wanna know. I need to."
The torn look came back even stronger, he was gazing down into my eyes. "Just know I love you, and never plan on not loving you or loving anyone else, ever." Just than his phone rang. "Well, it took them longer than I thought it would." He answered the phone, and it sounded like Ross through the phone.
I was too busy thinking about or conversation before the phone call to eavesdrop on his and Ross' conversation. I couldn't figure out what he meant.
"BABE!" Riker was talking loudly close to my ear. I jerked a little, looking up at him. He laughed. "There you are!" I looked at him confused. "You have been off in a daze for over an hour." Really? Wow, how is that possible?
He kissed my cheek, I let a smile show. He sighed. "Babe, are you still worried?" I looked into his eyes, not nodding or speaking a word. He sighs and throws his head down on my shoulder. After a second, he looks back up at me. "What's it gonna take for you to stop worrying?"
"You tell me!" He looked at me with s stressed look, than smiles an understanding smile.
Than he sighed. "Babe, two reasons I'm going to say no." I looked at him shocked. "I really want to tell you, but I'm not prepared to just yet." I looked at him, more confused. "Two, there are steps. I'm not jumping. I'm taking the baby steps."
I looked at him annoyed. What the hell? Now I'm more confused. "Okay, that," I pointed toward the bedroom, "is out of the picture until you tell me." He groaned, dropping his face.
"Babe," he looked back at me. "Okay, but I'll think about it, I'll leave out the steps." I smiled. At least I got somewhere with him on this.
Later that night, after he insisted on making me dinner and cleaning up after, we were watching a movie. We did that all day, and it was nice. I started feeling sick to my stomach, but I ignored it. I was in Riker's arms, that's all that mattered. After two movies, he groaned. I looked up at him. "What's wrong?"
He looked at me. "I can't do this anymore." My heart sank, and my eyes started to get foggy. He immediately realized what he said, than shook his head. "No babe, that's not what I meant." He kissed my lips softly. "I meant I can't keep this from you anymore." He wiped the tears that escaped away, kissing where they were when he wiped. "I want tell you."
