Chapter 1

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Justin's POV:

My eyes shot open to the sound of my alarm. Picking up my phone and silencing the sound, I saw that it was time to start another day of misery. I hate that I have to go to school. Not because I don't like education, but I hate the people. They all hate the fact that my life is a thing. Groaning and rubbing my tired eyes, I rolled out of bed and staggered to my bathroom. Even though I dislike life, I take pride my appearance. I stripped out of my clothing and turned on the shower amd waited for the water temperature to adjust. Once I was happy with the heat of the water I stepped into the shower and let the hot water trickle down my small frame. I stood in the one spot for a few minutes enjoying the sensation of the hot water before I decided to clean myself up. I used my body wash to wash myself.

Once I was satisfied with feeling clean, I stepped out of the shower turning the water off. I grabbed a fresh towel and wrapped it around my hips. I walked out of the bathroom and went over to my rather large closet. I decided what to wear before drying myself off fully. I slipped on some clean boxers and then my my black skinny jeans, white v-neck and black supras. I'm thankful that my school allows free dress rather than uniforms. After getting dressed I packed my backpack and walked out of my room down the stairs and into the kitchen. I saw no one else around which I was kind of thankful for. I decided to make a piece of toast for breakfast with a glass of water.

Satisfied I walked out of the front door locking it, before getting into my car and starting the drive to my misery. I drove in silence thinking about another 5 days before being free for the weekend. As soon as I pulled into the school entrance my emotions turned to sadness. I parked in my usual spot before just sitting in my car finding the courage to get out and face everyone. I could already hear the jokes and laughter about me. I opened the car door and immediately felt eyes on me. I put my head down and walked by everyone's judging stares. I could hear people talking about me and laughing. I tried my best to ignore it. Words like fag, fat, stupid, useless, ugly echoed through the corridors as I walked to my locker. After I put my code into my lock I opened my locker and but my bag in, before taking out my bookd for the first two lessons. Once my locker was closed I heard the voice I feared the most.

"Hey faggot. Good to see you're ready for another week of beatings." I whimpered and turned around to face the one person who made my life hell. I just stood there and stared at him for what felt like a lifetime. "Are you going to say something you loser?" he spat, smirking at me crossing his arms, glaring at me. I was too afraid to reply. I just stood there waiting for him to start the pain. My body started to tremble. "Fucking answer me you useless shit" he yelled, making me jump. Before I could find the courage to speak I felt a sharp pain shoot throughout my stomach.

I fell to my knees, clenching my gut in pain. I felt sick. Looking up I saw a leg coming to my face. His shin connected with my face sending me backwards falling to the ground groaning in pain. My body was already aching. I heard everyone laughing and egging him on. I felt hurt that no one bothered to help me. "Next time fucking answer me," he whispered in my ear before my head started spinning. I lay there in pain trying to regroup myself for class. "Pathetic," was the last thing I heard him say before walking off.

Once I felt well enough to stand, I staggered into the the toilets. I had the worst feeling in my stomach and I could feel myself wanting to vomit. I knelt over the toilets bowl and emptied the content of my stomach, which wasn't much. Just the toast. A tear fell down my face and I couldn't hold it in any longer. I began sobbing holding myself into a ball before hearing the bell for first lesson.

This place will be the death of me. The rest of the day went slow and I avoided everyone. Pain still shoot throughout my body. I sat in final lesson with my head down. Only one more minute until I can leave and be free until tomorrow morning. My thoughts started thinking about getting home. One thing kept popping up and I knew what I wnated to do as soon as I got home. This made the last minute feel like forever. Finally the bell rang and I packed my books up exiting the classroom with my head down. I went to my locker ignoring the stares and hurtful words. I walked out of the school doors and down the stairs. That's when I felt hands on my back and before I knew it I was falling down the last five stairs.

Blood started to flow out of my face and I knew that my nose and lips where damaged. I turned around, seeing the face I feared the most again. "See you tomorrow fag." He snickered before walking off with his friendship group, all laughing at my pain. I got up using my shirt to clean the blood quickly off my face. I got into my car and exited the school driving home. As i pulled into my driveway I cheered up remembering the thought I had in final lesson. I opened the car door and practically ran into the house straight up into my room and into my bathroom. Locking the door behind me, I opened the drawer to the cabinet and pulled out my blade. I looked into the mirror and was disgusted when I saw what was looking back at me. I looked ugly. They were right. He was right. Using that as motivation I placed the blade against for inner forearm and slicing it across horizontally.

A stinging pain went through my arm and travelled through my body. But I ignored it and kept going. Blood started to seep out of the cuts I was doing and I smiled at the sight. This is my relief from everything and it makes everything seem better for me. The hurt and pain I felt mentally could come out. After six cuts I decided that I should shower and wash away the blood. Once I cleaned up, I covered the cuts and brushed my teeth. I slipped on sweats and put a plain black t-shirt on. I hopped into my bed and laid there thinking about what a life without pain is like. I curled up into a ball and started to sob at the thought of none of my misery ending soon.

This life isn't fair and soon it will be over, was my last thought before drifting off to sleep.

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Hey all :)
Thanks for reading. This is my first ever story and I hope you like it. Please comment your thoughts. I just love Jastin stories so much! I'll try to update every week :)

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