Don't Break Me

Chapter 6

Jason's POV:

I was sitting in the lunchroom still getting a laugh from what I did to Justin earlier. I did not feel bad whatsoever. He is a waste of space. Sometimes I wonder why I waste my time destroying his life, but then I remember that it brings a smile to my face. Seeing him in pain makes my mood lift. Speaking of which, I haven't seen him since the teacher took his frail body out of class. Maybe he is still knocked out cold. Either that or he is hiding from me. The fear I have instilled in him is funny to me. Usually during lunch he goes and sits all by himself outside under a tree. Maybe I should go pay him a visit. I got up in a hurry and power walked outside to his usual sitting spot. I was baffled when I saw emptiness under the tree he sits by. I thought to myself for a moment before coming up with the conclusion that he in somewhere else in pain. I smirked to myself at that thought and walked back into the lunchroom.

The rest of the school day went by slowly and boring as per usual. All I kept thinking about was seeing Justin again and breaking him once more. He better bring up the courage to come to school tomorrow, or else he will get it twice as bad the next day.

Justin's POV:

I awoke to the sound of a door closing and footsteps going up stairs. It took me a few moments to realize what was happening. I was still against the wall in my bathroom, with blood covering my arms. I must have blacked out from tiredness or pain, I can't tell anymore. The noise I heard was most likely coming from my mother. Every day that she comes home from work she always comes up and checks on me. She insists that there is something terribly wrong with me. She worries way too much for my liking. Just then I heard a quiet knock on my bedroom door. I quickly picked myself up, forgetting about the injuries I had sustained earlier in the day. I dropped back to my knees, clutching at my ribs and stomach and groaning in pain. As I did this, I heard my mother call out for me, in her motherly tone. "Justin?" She called. "Justin sweetie, are you in there? Are you okay?" she continued on. I slowly raised myself back up and walked over to the cabinet, placing the razor in the drawer and shutting it. I know I don't have the time to clean up my arms properly, so I decided to just cover them up. I walked to my bedroom and grabbed a grey hoodie off of my bed and quickly put it on. "Justin sweetie, is that you? Are okay?" My mother asked sounding concerned now.

"Y-yes m-m-mum it's m-me." I replied. I looked down at my arms to check for any signs on blood to see little speckles of blood on my hand. 'Crap,' I thought to myself. I know if I take any longer my mum will get suspicious. I walked to the door, unlocking and opening it to reveal my mum standing there was concern obvious on her face. I quickly placed my hands into my pockets to hide the blood. I saw my mum look down at this out of the corner of her eye. She looked straight back up to me as if expecting me admit something was wrong.

"He-hey m-m-mum," I spoke weakly. She just looked at me before slowly raising a sad smile.

"Hello my angel. How are you? How was school? I missed you." She spoke like she hasn't seen me in weeks.

"It w-w-was o-okay. I m-mi-missed you t-too." I spoke trying to sound as genuine as I could.

"That's good to hear baby. You know that I am always here if you want to talk or if something is wrong." She said, sounding very worried.

"I-I'm fi-fine, h-h-hon-honest," I replied. She gave me a sad look before smiling and embracing my in a long hug. She kissed my forehead multiple times a squeezed me firmly. I winced at the pain that shot through my body from the earlier beatings in the day. She broke the hug and looked into my golden brown eyes. Worry once again overtook her expression towards me.

"Are you sure that you are okay Justin? Has something happened? It sounded like I just hurt you." She spoke motherly.

"Y-yes m-mum. I j-j-just tr-tripped o-over t-t-today. I'm a l-li-little s-sore." I managed to stutter to her. I knew she was suspicious of my behaviour so I decided to embrace her in a hug this time. I squeezed her tightly. "I l-l-love y-you," I whispered in her ear. I pulled away and sent her a fake smile. She sent back a real smile.

"I love you too my baby boy. I'm going to make us some spaghetti for dinner. I'll call you when it's ready okay? Unless you want to come down and help me make it?" She asked.

No. I thought to myself. I don't want to eat, nor do I need to. I'm fat and ugly enough already. But every time I tell her I'm not hungry she gets suspicious and always asks why. I know she is going not going to take me not eating for another night. "I m-might ha-have a l-l-lay d-down. I'm a b-bit t-t-tired." I stuttered. This reply actually made her smile a bit, because I didn't come up with an excuse not to eat.

"Of course sweetie, I'll get you when it's ready."

And with that she walked back down the stairs. I really don't want to eat. But I will have too to make her happy. Maybe after I eat a few bites I'll just do the usual routine of saying I need to go to the toilet, and then vomit all the food back up. It always works for me. She hasn't picked up onto that yet. I sat down next to my bed and put my arms around my legs and head against my knees forming a ball. My head began to pound and I burst into tears. I hate this life. I hate that I can't be happy. I can't be normal. I have to lie to my own mother. Eating is something that is becoming a distant memory. Be happy is a feeling I don't recall. I get beat on a daily basis. Pain is becoming a custom to me. I enjoy taking out my frustrations on myself. When I cut I get a rush of satisfaction. It's the only thing in life I have complete control over. Seeing blood go down my arms shows the pain and frustrations I feel. To me it shows them leaving. I must have been in my room crying for a while because before I knew it my mum was calling for me. Time to put the act on I thought as I wiped away remaining tears and walked downstairs into the kitchen. I saw my mum setting the table up with all the food she had made for us two. My stomach twisted and I instantly felt sick. I slid into my seat as she sat opposite me, smiling and handing me a bowl full of the dreaded food. "Eat as much as you need baby boy. I have made plenty." She spoke happily. This is one of the first times I haven't refused food, which for her is a big thing. As soon as the steam from the bowl hit my nostrils I gagged. "Are you okay sweetie?" My mum asked. Damn. She saw that.

"Y-y-yeah j-j-just had t-to ... u-umm ... c-c-cough," I lied.

She looked at me funny before she began to eat her food. I got the fork and picked up a few strings of spaghetti. I just stared at it for a while before taking it towards my mouth. I noticed my mum watching me the whole time. I opened my mouth and put the stuff in my mouth. Yuck. I chewed slowly trying not to gag. The texture was gross. The taste was gross. I hate this. It took my forever to swallow the one bite of food. "Is it good?" my mum asked looking hopeful. I couldn't tell her the truth so I lied.

"D-del-delicious."

I managed to consume a few more mouthfuls before I knew what I needed to do.

"E-ex-excuse m-me." I said as I got up and walked upstairs to my bathroom. I knew that if I went to the main bathroom my mum would hear what I was doing. I leant over the toilet bowl and shoved my fingers in my throat. And just like that, the entire contents of what consumed was floating the water of the toilet. I flushed it washed my mouth out quickly. I went back downstairs to the kitchen to see my mum already finished her food and washing up. I slid back to my seat and just stared and played with the bowl of food. "Everything all good sweetie?" my mum asked concerned.

"Y-yeah j-just had t-to use t-t-the t-toilet." I said feeling ashamed of myself. Her face sort out dropped but nothing was said.

"Okay well I'm going to go freshen up for bed. Make sure you finish that off please Justin," she asked, kind of pleading with me. She walked by, kissed me on the forehead and walked upstairs. Once I heard the shower running I empty the disgusting food into the bin and washed up. I sighed and went back to my room. My mum must be embarrassed to have a failure of a son. I don't blame her. I'm pathetic. I showered to wash off the dried blood and clean the cuts. I wrapped a fresh bandage around my arm and put a new blue hoodie on, as well as Mario pyjama pants on with socks. I slipped into bed and drifted myself off into my usual nightmares.

Soon this will be over was my last thought.

                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Helllllloooooo. Wow can't be believe I managed to update this quick. Hope you are enjoying reading this story. I love writing it. Please vote and comment your thoughts :)

Let me know how I can make it better. Until next time, love you all and thank you so much.