Don't Break Me

Chapter 11

Justin's POV:

"Uh... Um yeah. You better fucking pay for it you fucking faggot. Uh... what the fuck do you think you're doing in my house breaking my shit. You worthless piece of crap." Jason spat. I moved my head to look at him. He looked like he was deep in thought for a few seconds before his eyes shut. He opened them and they looked to be a darker colour but I am probably just imagining things. In a spilt second his facial expression changed to show anger. He slammed the bedroom door shut in my face before I heard heavy footsteps going down the stairs. I took a deep breath and moved back over to sit on the bed. I cupped my face into my hands and started to cry. I feel so trapped right now. Why does Jason have me here? I felt my hands become wet as tears streamed down my face. I feel so pathetic right now. I looked around the room again to find something to take my mind off things. My eyes passed the broken lamp on the ground. I smiled as I thought about what I did before Jason came into the room.

*Flashback*

I woke up with my body feeling like it had been trampled by a bus. Pain and agony strung over my body as I tried to sit up. I moved my hand up to my face and winced when made contact with my face. Jason had hit me with such force this morning. I brushed my hand over my face and felt dried blood around my nose and lip area. My head was pounding and I felt sick. My stomach was empty and begging for something to be put into it. I slowly rose to my feet as best I could, fighting through the pain that was shooting through my body. I looked over the room I was in and realized I was still at Jason's. I made way for the bathroom again praying that Jason was not around to beat me down again. I opened the door gradually and peaked out the small opening. No sign of him anywhere. I smile the smallest smile possible and widened the door gap. I walked over to the bathroom and did my business. I washed my hands and looked at myself in the mirror. "Absolute pathetic filth." I spoke to myself, hating what was looking back at me. My stomach rumbled and pain swirled in my stomach. "You don't need food you fatty," I said while looking at my belly. I cupped my hands and filled them with water. I splashed the water onto my face and rubbed away the dried blood. I dried my face off with nearby towel and walked out of the bathroom and back over to what I assumed to be Jason's room. I shut the door behind me and walked over to the bed. I thought about my life and how pitiful I am. I hate my body so much. I want this life to end. I am so sick of it. I need to cut. The urge was working my brain in overdrive. What can I use? I looked over the room and notice a lamp. I smiled and thought about the glass base. I jumped across the bed and help the lamp in my hands. The look that was strung of my face must have been similar to a child of Christmas morning. I dropped the lamp onto the ground hearing the satisfying sound of glass breaking. I looked down and one big piece of sharp glass caught my eye. I darted down to pick it up. I brought it to face level and smiled wide. I wasted no time in putting the glass point against my wrist. I took a second to look at my previous scars. I don't know why but I started to break down into heavy sobs. My life is so broken. I don't know why I get the hate from everyone that I do. I used to be such a happy person. I used to love life and every aspect of it. I burst into loud short sobs. "W-why? W-why me?" I paused pushing the broken glass against my skin. "I d-don't d-deserve this k-kind of l-life." I continued pushing even harder on the skin feeling the skin break through the layers. A crazed feeling came over me as I began to do what I am good at.

"One for being fat"

"Two for being ugly"

"Three for being pathetic"

"Four for being worthless"

"Five for being alive"

I spoke loudly when I suddenly heard something behind me. I didn't notice in my trance of cutting, but I had moved against the bedroom door. Kind of habit when doing this in case someone walks in. I heard the doorknob twist and I knew he was home. Fuck.