Don't Break Me

Chapter 35

Jason's POV:

I pulled into my driveway and flicked out the cigarette that I just finished smoking. I felt ashamed in myself that I hadn't realized just how much I had been hurting Justin. I had been gone for a while now, I had to make a few stops on the way for food. I had been thinking a lot about Justin and my feelings towards him. I really want to do everything I can to make it up to him. He does deserve a lot better than he has and he hasn't deserved to have me as a thorn in his sides the past few years. I opened my car door and collected a few bags that I had gotten whilst I was out. I shut the door using my leg and walked up to my front door and entering my house. I walked to the kitchen and unpacked a few bags of groceries that I had shopped for before deciding to snack on a bag of sour patch kids. What? They are tasty as fuck. Don't judge.

I temporarily forgot that Justin was currently upstairs in my room and had been all morning. I paced quickly towards my room, stopping once I reached my door. I felt like I should have knocked to let him know that I was back, but at the same time it was my house and my bedroom. I slowly gripped onto the handle of the door and turned it and pushing the door slightly to reveal a small crack into my room. I peeped inside quickly but couldn't make out anything so I just opened the door wide. Immediately I noticed Justin on sitting against my bed. He shot his head up in my direction and looked like a deer caught in headlights. I sent him a confused look as I took a step closer to him. I don't know why he was looking at me like he was. I looked him up and down trying to see what he was hiding.

My eyes became fixated on his arm. I don't how I didn't notice it quicker. I took another few steps closer towards him as tears started to build up in my eyes. Justin had a towel sloppily wrapped around his arm and the part that made my heart shoot in pain was that there was blood covering it. I moved so that I was now crouched beside him and placed my left arm on his shoulder. Justin flinched at my movement and looked away as soon as I looked him in the eyes. He didn't even try to fight it and simply held his arm straight out in front of me. I carefully and gently unwrapped the towel from his arm, trying to prepare myself for what I was about to see. Immediately I noticed the cuts. Tears began to fall freely from my eyes, as I could no longer hold them in. I blinked a few times to try to free my eyes up, but instead felt a steady flow of tears fall down my cheeks. I tried to focus on Justin as I knew he needed a friend more than ever right now.

I looked back to his arm and counted nine cuts. Blood was still oozing out of them and they were all looked as though they were quite deep. I knew that he did not have these this morning which meant he waited until I left to do this to himself. My heart broke and I couldn't control my emotions anymore, instead I gave into them.

I cried.

I pulled Justin in for a hug, being sure to not harm him in the process. I felt his body under me flinch a little and try to resist my embrace at first, but after a few moments I think he realized I wasn't going to hurt him. I didn't care if his blood went onto me, I didn't care that I was crying, I didn't care about myself, in actual fact, all I could care about in the moment was Justin and letting him know that I am here for him. I felt his body tremble a little under mine for what I believed was sobbing.

In that moment there was no words spoken. No words had to be spoken. I knew exactly what Justin was thinking and I am sure that Justin knew exactly what I was thinking. The room felt tense, but not in a way of anger. We sat there embraced in a hug for a fair while. I began to stroke a hand soothingly over his back and up through his hair. His body was shaking still and I could tell that he was not okay. I felt wetness against my stomach and I knew that the blood from his cuts has seeped into my shirt. I ignored this and placed a kiss on top of Justin's head.