Don't Break Me

Chapter 21

Jason's POV:

I trained my eyes to look down at Justin with tears still escaping. Silence filled my bedroom as all that could be heard was my hitched breathing. I was still in disbelief over what I had just watched Justin do to himself. I don't know what made him slip into that state of mind. I rose to my feet lifting Justin up gently as I did so. I placed him down onto my bed but made him lay with his back against the wall. I placed pillows behind him to try to make him feel as comfortable as possible. My eyes passed over his arm and became fixated on it. I saw the gash in his arm from the broken piece of lamp. It looked deep and was an inch or two long. My heart felt pain shoot through it and I clutched at it falling to my knees and shutting my eyes. I rested my head against the mattress and waited for the pain to subside. I think I finally understand what my body is doing. I get why I have been feeling weird lately about Justin and hell even just saying his name. I feel guilty. I did do this to him. I have tormented him. With all the abuse that I have chucked his way, I am not surprised at why he feels like he does. But I can't help what I do. Some part of me just looks at him and hatred oozes through my veins.

I brought my attention back to Justin and his arm and decided that I should care for it. I walked to the bathroom to retrieve a towel to clean it with, as well as going to the kitchen to get some covers for it. I walked back into my bedroom and stopped and looked at Justin. He was in a deep sleep from the looks of it. His chest was rising and falling slightly from his breathing and he looked calm. I noticed his facial features and that he was actually a very adorable person. His hair was messy from the rain earlier and still slightly damp. His skin looked so soft and smooth, almost porcelain like. His lips were a little purple, he was probably still cold, but mostly a shade of pink that made me smile. He was gorgeous but I have never taken the time to just look at him. I usually don't even notice anything about him. I walked over to him and sat by him.

Lifting his right arm up and placing it over my lap I began to gently dab at the cut to clean the blood. I didn't want to do this too fast and too hard in case it would hurt him, and right now that is the last thing on my mind. Once I had the blood all gone I applied a little pressure onto the cut to try to stop it from bleeding. I just sat there with the towel over his cut and I used my other hand to slowly stroke my hand through his hair. He must have felt this because every time that my hand touched his head his nose would crinkle up. After a few more minutes I took the towel off of the cut and placed gauze over it. I then used a bandage to keep in place and to fully cover his wound. After I clipped the bandage in place I sat to run my hand lightly up and down his body. I noticed that he got goose bumps from my actions and again I smiled small at him. I sat in the silence and felt that feeling come back and this time it wasn't guilt.

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly looking over his body. As soon as my eyes passed his lips my gut made a decision. I leant down so that I was now centimetres away from his face. I used my left hand to run through his hair as my warm breath fanned his face. Slowly, very, very slowly I started to move my head down and licked my lips as I did so. Without any further hesitation I placed my lips on his once again. My stomach flipped and a warm feeling spread throughout me. Even though I know he isn't awake right now I enjoyed this moment. I moved my lips around and kissed every part of his lip. I took it up a bit and started to suck, pulling his bottom lip into my mouth. I sucked on it slowly and started to feel sparks shoot throughout my body. My heart filled with warmth and my body began to react in a turned on manner. I didn't want this moment to end and I don't even know why.

I pulled away from him for a brief moment to take a little breath but when I went to go back to his lips I shocked to see his eyes open and staring at me. He looked both tired and scared. I sat back up straight and cleared my throat, while starching the back of my neck.

"Uh hey," I spoke trying to sound causal. Had he been awake for that whole time? He just stared at me, but broke the stare to look around the room... and then down to his arm. When he saw the bandage he looked back up to me and his face went red. He looked as though he had just been caught out.

"W-what h-hap-happened?" He asked sounding confused.

I looked down to the ground awkwardly and played with my fingers. "Um do you not remember?" I asked curious to what was going through his mind right now.

"N-no. W-weren't w-we in y-your c-car?" He asked.

"Yeah but then you went... uh..." I paused not really knowing what to say right now. "Do you not remember anything from there?"

"Y-you p-pulled o-over a-a-a-and...." He stuttered and then paused going red and looked down away from me.

"Annnd?" I questioned. He raised his head but didn't look my way at all.

"Y-you k-kis-kissed me." I said cutely. I saw his cheeks fill with redness. Was he blushing over me?

"Yeah and then you went weird so I brought you back to my place to look after you but..." I trailed off not really knowing how to say what happened.

"B-but w-what?" Justin asked.

I took a deep sigh and used hand to bring his eyes to meet mine. "You used part of the broken lamp on the floor over there and you..." I took a pause and breathed deeply. My eyes felt heavy and I could feel tears building up. He looked so innocent and ashamed right now. "You hurt yourself again Justin," my voice cracked as I said it to him.

His eyes closed and I saw tears fall from them and that is all it took for me to do the same. I embraced him into my body for a hug and squeezed him firmly. I ran my hand down his back and kept saying 'it's going to be okay.' After a few minutes and broke away and looked him in the eyes again, my expression was serious and I made sure he knew it.

"Justin," I spoke looking him right in the eyes, "I want you to know that you don't have to do that anymore. I want to help you." He looked like he had just seen a ghost and I can't blame him. I mean if I were him I wouldn't trust me.

I changed the topic quickly because I didn't want him to feel awkward.

"So do you want to stay with me tonight? We can skip school tomorrow if you want to rest up and I could call your mum for you?" I asked trying to convince him to stay.

He looked at me with wide eyes. His facial expressions could show that he was obviously in thought about my question. His shut his eyes and took in a long breath. Justin opened his eyes to meet mine and opened his mouth with an answer.

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Heyooo!!! I am so sorry it took me this long to update :(

How are you all going? I hope you are well <3

I have been busy with working and birthday celebrations so I FINALLY have time to update again!

Thank you all so much for reading. Let me know what you think :)

What do you think, should Justin stay with Jason??

Until next time, farewell <3