Don't Break Me

Chapter 20

Justin's POV:

My jaw clenched shut and I sealed my lips together. My eyes were wide and shock was evident in my look. I didn't know what to do. I just sat in my Jason's car completely frozen in time. The person who has damaged me down to a mere shell of broken boy sat in front of me with his lips pressed against mine. I could feel Jason trying to break through my sealed lips but stopped once he realized I wasn't letting up. Jason backed his head away from mine creating a small space between our faces. I could feel his warm breath crashing over my face as he stared me in the eyes. The feeling of this sent goose bumps all over my body as I tried to collect my thoughts on what was happening. His eyes held my gaze as I noticed his eyes morphing into a light ice blue colour. They held such seriousness and confidence in them and they never stopped looking at me. Silence took over the both of us with only the light sounds of breathing could be heard. My mind was still blown away with what had just happened and I fought to regain control over my body. The low sound of Jason clearing his throat again made me freeze in my place and cower a little. I closed my eyes and tucked myself into the seat.

"I'm..." his raspy voice let out sounding forced. Jason moved back into his seat breaking our stare and his eyes became fixated on looking out the window into the pouring rain. He raised his right arm and rubbed at the back of his head letting out a sigh. He moved his hand to the keys in the ignition and turned the car on, clipping his seat belt on and turning on the headlights and wipers. He looked forwards as he pulled from the side of the road and drove slowly down the streets. I looked to him and noticed his jawline showing extremely prominent. His facial expression was one of calmness mixed with frustration. He cocked his head to make eye contact with me for a few brief moments before turning his attention back to the road. Another sigh was heard escaping him as he continued to talk.

"Uh I'm sorry..." Jason reached his hand down to the centre console and pulled out a packet of cigarettes. He placed them in his lap and continued to speak. "Do you mind if I?" He asked looking to me again. I gave him a quick reply of the nod of my head. I don't like being around smoke but I was not about to tell Jason that, especially when I am in his car. He pulled out a cigarette and placed it between his lips. He lifted his free hand up and lit the smoke, after which he wound down the window letting in some fresh air and small droplets of rain. The smell of the rain covering the road and surrounding area filled my nose, which brought a small smile to my face.

"Just forget I did that okay?" He asked as he took a drag from his smoke. I looked over to him and nodded to agree with him. Jason saw my movement and let out a little giggle. "I'll take you to the hospital okay?"

Confusion took over my face. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked away from Jason. Only one thought kept on racing through my head. Why is he being so nice to me all of a sudden? I mean, only a few hours ago, he was beating my down in my own house. And now he is picking me up in the rain, kissing me and taking me to a hospital. Did he have a sudden change of heart? Or is this one of his games to play with me? What if he is going to flick back into the monster that I have become so familiar with inside of him? My breathing began to pick up rapidly and I tightened my grip on the handle on the car door. I put my head down and closed my eyes as I felt the anxiety inside of me taking over. I felt myself losing control of my body as I started to lose focus what was happening. My ears started to ring and my body began to tremble. I felt like I was going to pass out and my head was dizzy was struggling to process what was happening. I felt an overwhelming sense of dread take over me as I was alone in the car with Jason. I tried my best to focus on my breathing but something I couldn't control gave in and my vision went black.

Jason's POV:

I took another drag on my cigarette and focused on getting Justin to a hospital. I felt bad that I was the one that had put him in the condition he was in. Not all of it is my fault of course. Ever since I met his mum I felt this weird feeling take over me about him. I feel really stupid for kissing him. I don't know why I did it. It was very apparent that he did not like it either. When I saw him in the rain, hurt and crying, my heart just felt for him and I wanted to comfort him. I can't explain it any better than that. I flicked the ash from the cigarette out the window and took another drag. I turned to look over at Justin and was shocked to see him curling up into a ball. I pulled back over to the side of the road and threw away the remaining cigarette. I unbuckled my seat belt and moved closer to him just watching his movements. His breathing could be heard and was loud and fast paced. His chest rose and dropped quickly and he had a tight grip on the seat belt with one hand and the door handle with the other hand. His body took formation of a ball and his face was sunken into his chest. I heard him gasping for air and was completely thrown aback from what he was doing.

"Justin!" I spoke loudly trying to get his attention, but he continued to do whatever it was. I lifted his head up gently from his chest to see his face pale. His eyes were forced closed and he began to move his head from side to side. I placed a hand on each of his shoulders and shook him lightly. After getting no response from him I put more force into the shaking and started to call his name louder.

Still I got nothing. In my panicked state of mind I crossed off taking him to the hospital as I may get questioned and I don't want any of that. Without putting much thought into it, I took my position back into the driver's seat and planted my foot on the accelerator. Within ten minutes I had reached where my mind decided to go. I parked and opened my door running over to Justin's door. I opened his door and took him into my arms gently and bridal style. I closed the door behind me and ran through the rain to the front door to my house. I had no other choice but to bring him here, where no one will be able to question me. I opened the door and carried him up the stairs and into my bedroom. I placed him down onto the bed and walked out of the room to get him a glass of water. I really didn't know what to do in this situation and to be honest, it was freaking me out.

I made my way back to my room with water for Justin. I opened my bedroom door and was shocked at what was happening before my very eyes.

"Justin what the hell are you doing?!" I yelled dropping the cup of water and running over to him. He was conscious and had his eyes wide opened. He was standing at the end of my bed holding his right arm out. In his left arm he held a part of the broken lamp from the last time he was here. Fuck I forgot to clean it all up. When I walked through the door, Justin raised his head and locked eyes with me. He did not look like his usual self. His eyes screamed crazy and he had a wide grin on his face. I looked hard into his eyes and did not see the caramel brown colour that they usually hold, rather black. I freaked out and tried to tackle him to the ground. He stepped out of my way and my face met the ground. I rolled over and went to rise back to my feet but stopped when Justin's voice filled the room.

"Jason is this not what you and everyone else want from me?" He spoke so clearly and without stuttering that it actually made my scared. It was as if he was at complete ease with life. His eyes still held their gaze with me and the smile kept of growing on his face. Without another word I saw his left hand move across his right arm deeply. I heard him cry out in pain.

"JUSTIN NO PLEASE STOP!" I screamed rising to my feet and catching him as he fell. I fell to my knees holding Justin's unconscious body in my arms. I rested my head against his and let the tears slip down my cheeks. 

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