Book Three: Dream the Future - An Ashton Irwin Fanfiction

Chapter 18 - Independent

October 25, 2015

It had only been a week since we had actually tried for a baby, but I was anxious and wanted to take pregnancy tests. I told Ashton I was going to, and he got excited. He ran upstairs and sat right beside me on my bed while we waited.

"Maybe this time will be the time?" He smiled.

"Maybe, yeah," I smiled back.

"I love you, no matter what the result is," he told me. I kissed him.

"I love you too. No matter what."

Finally, as if it had been eternity, the timer dinged, and we both walked into the bathroom. We looked down at the results. Both negative. I looked up at Ashton, beginning to cry

"Why..." I bit my lip to stop me from crying any harder.

"I don't know, Chlo.. We'll just keep trying, okay?"

"But I don't want to 'just keep trying'," I pushed myself past Ashton and out of the bathroom. I faced away from him, "I just want to have a baby. That's it. That's all I'm asking for.." I looked at my hands, crying.

"Chloe, babe, I've told you that if God wants us to have a baby, we will. Don't you worry," he smiled, "if you aren't pregnant by New Years.. Remember our deal? We'll adopt, and we'll have a baby then."

"I know that. I just want to have a baby of our own," I told him, looking away from him.

"How about we switch the deal up a little? If you're not pregnant by New Years, we'll go to the doctors and see if there's anything wrong, that for some reason is preventing us from having a baby. Then, if we still can't, we will adopt, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed and nodded. He kissed my forehead.

"But how about we try again?" He smirked.

"Kaely is just downstairs," I told him. He nodded, remembering and walked downstairs.

I walked to Kaely who was in the kitchen on a stool eating cereal. She looked at me and asked, "did you just take a test, mummy?"

"Yeah, I did.. I'm not having a baby," I told her almost silently. I felt so bad for not being able to get her a sibling, something she'd wanted to badly. Hopefully soon she'd have a baby brother or sister whether I get pregnant or we adopt.

"Okay," she looked back down on her cereal then back at me, "it's okay, mummy. Don't worry."

"I just miss having a baby in the house, Kaely. You're seven now. It seems like just a little while ago you were a baby, but that was a while ago when you were still dependent on me. Now you're growing more independent," I looked down at the cereal bowl that I now had.

"You still do things for me, mummy. I can't drive myself around or get to everything I need to by walking. I can't buy my own clothes. I can't do most things without you. I still need you," she told me.

"Just remember, though.. Be thankful for what we have now. When I was just a little older than you, I was in my own. Grammy and pappy didn't support me at all. They were always gone. Remember to be thankful for two parents that would do anything for you and for having whatever you need at your fingertips," I told her. I didn't like giving her mini speeches, but she needed to remember that.

"I will, mummy. I won't forget. I promise," she smiled, "it's just that I want a sibling."

"You'll have a sibling sometime soon whether we adopt or I have a baby, but you'll have one soon, I can promise you that." That made her grin from ear to ear. That's all she had ever wanted. I felt so bad that we couldn't give it to her earlier.

"I love you, mummy," she smiled and hugged me. I hugged her, "I love you too, baby."

She ran up to her room and got ready for church. I heard Ashton say good morning to her as he was coming down the steps and she was going up. He walked into the kitchen and put his arm around my waist. He kissed up and down my neck. I pulled away.

"Babe.." He whispered, but I ignored him and walked up the stairs.

I got ready for church and walked downstairs to see Kaely watching cartoons in her dress. She had gotten ready herself, once again. I knew I'd have to accept the fact that she was growing older and more independent.

"Kaely, once daddy is done, we're leaving for church, okay?" I smiled at her and grabbed the remote, turning the tv off. I knew that Ashton would be done very soon, so Kaely needed to get her shoes and sweater on.

"Chloe, I need to talk to you alone for just a minute," I heard Ashton say as he walked down the stairs into the foyer.

"What about?" I asked him, but he looked at me straight in the eyes and told me, "just come here."

"Okay-" I muttered as I walked towards where Ashton was going. He walked into the kitchen, and he asked me if I was alright.

"Yes, Ashton, I'm okay. I'm just a little discouraged. I really want a baby, and you know that. You do too. That's the only thing wrong, I promise. Now can we leave before I start crying and my makeup smears?" I told him and right as he nodded, I walked out of the kitchen.

We met up with Kaely in the car who had already gotten herself buckled in. I got into the passenger's seat and Ashton got into the driver's seat. We had a very quiet, but not awkward, ride to church.