Boys Don't Cry

Chapter Two - Three years later.

Chapter Two

Three years later.

I wake up with a sudden jolt. Shit. My hands search for my phone, It tells me it's16:48. It also tells me I have a missed call from Ben, two texts. One from Hayley, one from Joseph. Fun night. I grab a pill from the floor next to me, nothing like drugs to get you going in the morning. Sitting up and running a hand through my greasy hair, It makes me realise I badly need a shower. Grabbing my t-shirt from the floor next to an ashtray i put it on, it reeked of smoke and puke. Nice.

I walk out of the dark, musty room and head for the stairs. The sunlight hits me like a bullet. I run. I like running. I run home as fast as I can. Home. Yeah right, that place is anything but a home. I finally reach a street corner. My feet carry me along the pavement and When I reach large iron gates, I stop. I turn left and enter a small car park with just three or four cars in it. I'm slowly walking up some steps before bracing myself, I know what's waiting for me. My frame stands at the door and press a white button. I hear it buzz on the other side. The door opens, and a small, slim, middle age woman stands with a concerned, angry expression on her face. Ugh.

"Where have you been?" She asks. If I wasn't high I would have been nicer.

"Out"

"Out where?"

"Out" I shrug my shoulders and walk past her. Ben stops me.

"Out where?" He asks blocking my path.

"Out." I repeat through gritted teeth. I'm away to floor this dude.

"I phoned you." He points out.

"I know. I ignored you for a reason"

I storm past and head straight for the boys bathroom. I strip off my dirty top and stand in front of the mirror.

I see the marks. I'm covered in them, needle marks, marks where I have cut deliberately. I look at my ruined body for one more minute before turning on the shower. Taking off my trousers and underwear before climbing in. The scolding hot water races over my body, stinging the needle marks from last night. I don't care. I love it. I wash my hair and scrub at my body before climbing out and wrapping a towel around my waist. I strut through to my room and close the door. I rake through drawers before I find an old pair of black, slim fit jeans and a plain white t-shirt, long sleeved of course. I stick on my old Adidas trainers before heading to the kitchen, kids aren't allowed in the kitchen, but I'm a rule breaker. I scavenge through the cupboards, finding a bar of chocolate and an apple. I don't eat much. Drugs substitute for food. That's probably why I'm quite skinny. I walk through to the lounge, and throw myself on to a sofa. One of the little girls called Sophie is watching cartoons, it's not long before she notices me and climbs on to my lap. She's quiet, but she likes a cuddle. We continue watching cartoons in silence until Ben comes through. He looks me straight in the eye.

"Office, now." Of course. The minute I sit my arse down and get comfy. I push Sophie off my lap and walk through the hallways until I reach the office, I walk in, being greeted by Ben, -a care worker who thinks he knows everything-, Lauren - who is actually quite nice, but doesn't know when to stop asking questions- and Katherine. The blonde bitch.

"Sit down, Michael" instructs Lauren. I take a seat in the corner of the room and get comfy, this will take a while. I stay out all night, don't tell anyone where I am, the pretend they care, call the police and give me a lecture, sanction me. Yeah, I know the script. Katherine opens a big black folder, which is my file, and opens her mouth, the mouth I really wish I could staple shut.

"How many times do we have to do this before you understand? If you're going out you need to tell a care worker, we need to know where you're going, you need to be in by eight 'o clock and you need to check in or out at the front office. Something could have happened to you. You could of been dead. Don't you understand how serious this is?"

"Okay." I sigh. "Can I go now? Places to go, people to see."

"No. You're on lockdown" I look up at Ben. Who the fuck does he think he is? Fucking prick.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are. This going AWOL is not acceptable."

"Nah." I'm beginning to come down. I'm getting irritated. I need some junk or something. "How long for?" I ask, being optimistic that its only for twelve hours.

"twenty-four hours"

"Ah fuck off" I wait for Ben to get ready and then I'm led up stairs and taken to my room, here I will stay for twenty- four hours. Shit. I step into my room and the door is locked behind me. I rush to my beside cabinet and begin looking for something I can take, I only find a bit of cocaine. I snort it as fast as I can then lie on my bed. It's gonna be a long night.

I still have cocaine in my system. It's only been about 30 minutes. I want to find something else. Something I can take to go to sleep. To get this over with. I open my bedside cabinet again, looking for a Valium or something similar. Nothing. Huh, This is more horrible than I imagined. I open my laundry basket, and look through my trousers from last night. I find three ketamine tablets. That won't last me all night. It's now been an hour I need to go to the bathroom, I press a button and wait, this should alert someone at the main office, I get ready to play "Sober me", if they suspect I'm high, I'm done for. Someone opens the door it's Lauren, she has a kind, sympathetic look on her face.

"Having fun?" She asks, she knows the answer. Bitch.

"Would be more fun if I was allowed my phone." I reply. I know I won't get it. It's part of the punishment. "Hayley will think I hate her." I say, trying to back up my argument.

Ah Hayley. I love Hayley. She's my rock, she was there by my side during the court case, through my first year here, and through every time a foster family dumped me back here, which if i count, is six times. She's been my best friend since I was twelve. Now, we're more than friends. I've just realised we haven't spoken since last night.

"We'll maybe you should have thought about that before you did what you did." She says. I enter the bathroom and do what I need to do. Washing my hands, I start to think that this isn't worth it. I walk back to my room. The time is 18:30. Dinner time for some of the kids. I grab one of the ketamine tablets and stuff it in my pocket, I am taken to the dining room. Every kid from the age of ten-sixteen is here. I sit down at my spot and a plate is placed in front of me. It's Spaghetti Bolognese. My favourite. I eat as much as I can, due to my small appetite I can't eat much.

I'm led through to my room. It's now 19:05. Oh my god, I want to sleep. I could sleep through this is I had drugs. I take the Ketamine tablet from my pocket and put it in my mouth. I lie down and wait for it to take effect.