Boys Don't Cry

Chapter Twenty-three

Chapter Twenty-Three

We pull up in to the car park that already has three cars in it. I climb out and up the smooth stone steps, pressing the buzzer, I'm hoping no one answers and I don't have to go in.

But, of course someone answers - it's Nicole, with her brown hair falling just past her shoulders.

"Hey, Buddy. How did it go?" She says enthusiastically.

"Great." I say happily. I step inside and my dad walks straight in to the office with Katherine and Ben.

"Why don't we let them speak and we'll go unpack your stuff?" Suggests Nicole. I follow her to my room, telling her all about my bedroom and Oscar, we even go on to the topic of the food. She seemed genuinely interested at what I was telling her.

"I met my grandparents and my uncle and aunts. They seem really friendly, I just hope they like me as much as I liked them." I say. She looks at me while folding up some clothes.

"Of course they'll like you, what's not to like?" She smiles. "Let's go see if your Dad's ready for this therapy session, shall we?" Nicole says, finishing tidying up. We both walk back to the office, it's evident that they're not finished speaking, considering everyone is still inside. I hear laughing, that has to be a good sign. Five minutes later, one by one they all emerge, Lauren first, then My Dad and Katherine together.

"You ready, Michael?" Asks Katherine optimistically. I nod sadly. They all know I'm not. The walk down the corridor to the usual room takes a life time, the dread in my stomach is unbearable. I have been dreading this all weekend and now it's time. Katherine opens the door and my Dad and I walk in, the door swings shut behind us and for the time being we are alone. I sit down on the couch and let out a big sigh. This time I have chosen wisely to wear only a long sleeved t-shirt, so I don't get too hot.

"She's obviously gonna bring up the topics from last week, just try your best to cooperate." My dad says randomly. He looks towards me and I nod, unable to say anything without getting the urge to throw up. The door opens and Sarah walks in, smiling.

"Hi, guys. How are we doing?" She asks, placing her folder and note book down on a small table in the middle of the room. "How did the weekend visit go?"

"Great." I say, trying not to sound sarcastic. I did genuinely have a great time, but I struggle with showing how sincere I am sometimes. Sarah looks at up and smiles at us.

"That's amazing!" She says. "Dad, how do you think it went?" She asks, looking at my dad. He smiles.

"I think it went extremely well. Like I said to Katherine, I knew it would go well." He says turning to me, I keep my gaze focused on Sarah, though. We had spent ten minutes discussing everything that happened at the weekend, including me expressing my excitement on having a dog, my own bathroom, family dinners and a family all together, when Sarah turned to me.

"Michael, would you like to explain what you were thinking last week? When you walked out... Why did you walk out?" I knew this question was coming. I look at the floor, start fiddling with my fingers and let out a sigh.

"I don't know, I was angry." I say quietly.

"Why?" She asks, being even more invasive. I don't look up or stop fiddling.

"You were asking me questions that I didn't want to answer..." I don't change the tone or volume of my voice.

"Has that opinion changed at all? Do you feel ready to discuss those subjects now?" They both look at me. I shrug, I don't know what else to do or how else to react. "Michael, why didn't you want your Dad to find out about the self harm?" I shrug again.