Boys Don't Cry

Chapter 31

When I come to, it's 19:38. I look at my phone, there are numerous missed calls and texts from my father, Amelia and Hayley. I've been ignoring them since yesterday, and taking drugs, my dad would probably kill me if he could see me now, I look at Jacob, who is making a joint. Immediately, I walk to the fridge and take out two beers and hand one to Jacob, we spend the next hour or so smoking and drinking, I'm relaxed, which leads me to think about what happened, for the first time since I've come round. There's a sudden pound on the door, Jacob gets up and answers it nervously, I hear a voice, it's female. They speak quietly for a second or two and then the voice gets louder.

"He's here!?" I know instantly it's Hayley, she bursts through the door, and I quickly move my jacket to cover up the fresh needle mark. She looks at me, angry.

"Why didn't you answer your phone? Everyone is worried. What's going on?" She starts ranting at me, scolding me as if I was a small child. She starts asking me questions, lots of them. I explain everything. I explain about John getting early release, and how he'll be out soon, I explain how I just needed to get away and escape. Then, I lie to her, I tell her I haven't taken anything and I'm only having one beer. I also ask her not to tell my parents where I am, she agrees on the condition that I go home soon and explain everything to them. We all sit and talk for a bit, there's an elephant in the room - no one wants to bring up recent events. After half an hour, Hayley disappears to the bathroom, I take this time to speak to Jacob. I tell him I can't go home, not yet.

"You can stay here as long as you need, as long as the police don't come looking for you." I nod, understanding.

"Thanks, man. I'm gonna walk Hayley home soon, and tell her I'm going home, is it alright if I come back here?" He nods.

"Of course. Although maybe you should tell your parents that you're safe at least." It's my turn to nod now, although I don't plan on telling anyone anything. Jacob leaves the room, leaving me to my own thoughts. I remember the last time I spoke to John, it was one of the last times he attacked me, he told me that if I ever told anyone, he'd find me and rape me again. Then when he knocked me out and I was in hospital, they found out it was him, and now when he gets out, he's gonna find me. My mind wanders back to the court case, I remember sitting beside Katherine, scared and alone. It was the last time I ever saw my mother, but she didn't speak to Me or even make eye contact with me. I remember having to tell everyone in the court what happened, answering numerous questions. I zone back in to reality, and Hayley and Jacob are both back, sitting in Jacobs living room, the same spots as before. I tell Hayley that it's late and that I'm going to walk her to her house and then go home, she seems happy with it and we prepare to leave.

We walk the entire way in silence, it wasn't awkward, but a lot of things have happened in the past day or so, it was a lot for our heads to take in. We slowly get to her door, and I peck her on the cheek, then move to her lips, wrapping her in my arms, she asks me if I'm ok, I assure her I am, and I'll speak to my dad about it when I go home. This of course, is a lie. I go straight back to Jacobs. He's waiting for me, with a freshly filled syringe and a small bag with a fine white powder inside. I take the heroin first, knowing that I can take the cocaine tomorrow, to start my day. Soon, I drift off unaware of anything.

I wake up on Jacobs couch, he's on the other one across from me. I check the time, it's 08:21. I've slept all night and I have more texts and missed calls from my father and Amelia. I think about going home, I could take something to get through it, and act sober. I also remember that I told Hayley I'd go home. I take the left over cocaine from the night before and sit for a while and talk it over with Jacob.

"I think you should, I'll give you some stuff to take with you, if you want." I take him up on his offer and I start hiding various drugs all around my body, including a packet of cigarettes, Standing for a few minutes, I contemplate my decision before thanking Jacob and heading for the door. Walking as slowly as possible, I think about how my Dad will react when I walk in. My brain goes through every human emotion, will he be upset? Disappointed? He's probably going to be very angry. After twenty minutes of walking, I come to the bottom of the drive way and then before I know it I'm at the front door. I push my way in and try to race upstairs before anyone can spot me. It doesn't work, before I'm even over the threshold, I'm greeted by my parents, the concerned, worried, angry looks on their faces bring me back to reality. No one speaks, my Father nods his head towards the kitchen, he stands to the side, and I follow his orders and walk towards the kitchen, He and Amelia follow, I stand leaning against the table with my legs in a crossed position, looking at the floor. They stand together, the expression on their faces haven't changed.