Boys Don't Cry

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

It's our first family therapy session with Amelia, I'm nervous, Sarah could bring up anything, and I'll have to speak about it. It doesn't help that I've just endured a full day of lessons, which were incredibly drooling. I walk to immediately to the same, mundane therapy room, where I wait for around five minutes before my Father and Amelia walk in together, hand in hand. They sit down on the sofa beside me, Amelia in the middle and my dad on the other end. There's a short awkward silence, until Sarah walks in with her black book and pen, giving us the same, patronising smile. Trying to look happy, I smile at Sarah, who starts off the session almost instantly.

"So, how are you all?" She asks condescendingly with a smile.

"Great." I throw in before anyone else gets a chance. She quickly smiles at me, before turning to my dad for an answer.

"Yeah, good." He says, sounding almost as positive as I did. We use up twenty minutes of the session talking about the last few days, Amelia's pregnancy and how well I've been doing in the classes here. I try to stay out of the spotlight, avoiding any questions aimed at me. It doesn't work.

"Michael, at the last family session, we went back to a few years ago, and managed to break through the barrier and speak about John, and how your dad found out." Sarah turns to look at me, I briefly look at her, before my eyes fall to the ground, Nodding subtly. "Do you feel any better after talking about it?"

"A little." I mumble, refusing to take my eyes off the ground. I feel everyone's eyes on me.

"Dad? Do you feel better?" She asks, turning to him.

"Yeah, a lot." He mumbles as well. I can tell he doesn't really want to speak about it either. We all look towards Sarah as she begins to speak.

"Michael, you mentioned last week that you see Amelia as a parent. Has that changed?"

"No. I still do." I say, shaking my head. It didn't really want anyone to know that. But I guess they do now. The session goes on for a least another thirty minutes, which are spent discussing the Baby and how I feel about it. Everyone's acting as though it's difficult for me, it's not. After Sarah makes a comment about the session, we say goodbye and make our way out to the car. I stay silent.

I spring awake and open my eyes, only to be met with darkness, Swinging my legs over the edge of my bed they carry me to the bathroom. I brace myself and slam on the light, squinting while my eyes adjust. My hand searches for the cold tap and twists it on, spraying my Pyjama shirt with ice cold liquid. I splash some over my face, it wakes me up more, which means I don't need to keep squinting. Turning the tap and the light off, I find my way back to bed in the dark and check the time - 02:51. I crawl back under the sheets and lie down, hoping sleep takes hold of me. It doesn't and I toss and turn for five minutes, before deciding to get a glass of water. I walk out of my bedroom and in to the hallway, almost feeling my way about in the now familiar darkness. I quietly bounce downstairs and in to the kitchen, being careful not to make a noise. Opening the cupboard and walking to the sink, I feel soft footsteps behind me, I can tell they belong to Oscar. I stand at the kitchen counter and sip the water, a wet, nose pokes my arm, looking down I see Oscar, who is leaning on his hind legs, staring out the window with me. My hand reaches to his head and I stand for a few more minutes, patting him. I think about the dream that woke me up. The same dream I always have, where no one comes to help me. I finish my water, put the glass in the dishwasher, and go back upstairs, Oscar follows and curls up on my bed with me.

A soft knock on the door wakes me, Amelia opens it and sticks her head round.

"Time to wake up." She smiles. I roll out of bed and get washed and dressed, finally making my way downstairs and in to the kitchen. I fix myself some toast and honey, eating and finishing it before it went cold. I slump at the table for a couple minutes before heading upstairs to get my things.

Today it's Maths and History. I enjoy history, but I hate maths. I get through all the history stuff with flying colours, but I really struggle with the maths, I don't even really try, I become lazy and try to do as less as possible. Katherine comes in to the room, distracting me from my work, her face has a dry, grave look. My stomach starts to churn.

"Michael, can you come with me, please?" She asks, showing not emotion. I get up from my seat and start to follow her out the room. "You might want to bring your things, I don't think you'll be back today." Immediately, I turn round and collect my backpack and jacket, then I start my journey out of the room again.

"Is everything ok?" I ask, starting to panic.

"Everything's fine, we just need to chat." She says back, I calm down a bit, but not much. I follow her to the office, and right inside, where I am met with my father and Amelia, who looks like she's been crying. Apart from that they both look equally as emotionless as Katherine does. They both smile when they see me, in an attempt to ease the tension, It doesn't work.

"What's wrong?" I ask, speeding it up.

"Sit down, Michael." She instructs. I stay standing.

"No. I'll stand." I say, trying to speed this up.

"You should sit down, mate." My dad says, turning to look at me, still showing no emotion.

"I said I'll stand." I say, keeping calm. "Tell me what's wrong." Katherine exchanges a look with my Father and then looks right back at me again.

"There's not an easy way to say this, Michael. John Summers has appealed for an early release, and it's been accepted."

The room before me starts to spin, my chest tightens as my hear begins to pound. My breathing starts to get heavy.

"When?" I ask, not sure if they can hear me or if they even know what I mean.

"A couple of weeks."

I'm punched, and kicked. My legs hurt too much to move, I try to scream for help, but I don't think anyone hears me. I'm rolled on to my stomach, pain oozing from it as it presses against the floor - I scream again. My clothing rips and I'm all of a sudden cold, an unforgettable pain protrudes through my body and I'm unable to move at all. Tears and blood stream down my face, I try to scream, but nothing comes out. I try again and again - still nothing. When I realise what's going on, i realise I'm on my knees, with actual tears streaming down my face. I'm shaking and breathing heavily, but I ignore all of it, I stand up and walk out of the room, I walk right to the front entrance and outside, I hear my Dad following me, and calling my name, I keep walking though, my body knows where I'm going and it doesn't stop until I get there. The familiar brown door comes in to view and my body speeds up. I knock and wait, still shaking. Jacob answers quickly and I walk straight in without an invite.

"John's getting out." I say, immediately, giving him no time to speak to me first. He disappears, without saying a word and comes back with a thin syringe, filled with my favourite drug. My jacket instantly slides off and without hesitation, I take off my belt. Thankfully the rest happens quickly, and I slide in to paradise.