Boys Don't Cry

Chapter three

Chapter three

I'm aware of what's going on around me now. I'm no longer tripping. I look at my bedside clock. 21:42. I lie on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. This is horrible. I wan- I need out of here. I take off my top and look in my mirror. My body is wasting away, right in front of me. Good. I hate being in here. I think too much. I think about things I don't want to be thinking about. I stare at my arms, they're bruised and cut. Looking at this I think back to where it all got shit. The attack, the court case. I remember standing in front of a lot of people. Telling them what happened. Over and over again these thing play in my mind. I start to think about what would've happened if I knew my dad. Things might have been better. But he doesn't even know who I am. I could have walked past him in the street. They've been trying to trace him two years, but they've found nothing. If I could speak to my mother right now, I'd ask his name. I'd ask why they broke up. In my opinion, I have the right to know. All I know is, when i was born, he was sixteen. That's the age I almost am now. Before I know it, it's 22:48. Time really does fly when you think a lot. I stuff another ketamine tablet in my mouth and lie down.

By the time the effects wear off this time, it's 00:57. I'm actually quite tired. I climb out of bed and take off my remaining clothes. I look out the window, the dark night sky looks back at me. i climb back into bed and close my eyes and try to sleep. Tossing and turning my thoughts drift back to my dad. Through the past years I've thought of different things that would change if he was here. I feel my eyelids droop shut. I don't fight it this time.

I am woken by Ben telling me its time for breakfast. I mutter I'm not hungry before drifting back off.

By the time I wake up and check the clock, it's 14:34. Two hours, two hours and I can get some decent gear, I swallow the last pill before getting up, I throw on the same jeans as yesterday and find another white t-shirt, although this is short-sleeved so I through on a black jumper. Ten minutes later, Lauren opens the door, I go to the toilet and wash my hands, all I'm thinking about is getting out of here. I sit back on my bed... I'm buzzing. I can't wait to get out of here.

An hour an a half later, the door opens, it's Lauren, she hands me my phone, and reminds me of the rules.

Okay, I get it. Piss off. I get up and walk out of my room, down the hall and into the kitchen, I look through the cupboards and find cereal bar and a bottle of water. I take them with me and head for the door, I see Ben.

"I'm going out." I say loudly.

"Where?" He asks.

" Shops, to meet some friends, then I'm not sure, I'll let you know?"

"Fine. But you'd better be in by eight." He says, I nod. I don't think I could go through that again.

I reach the same house as before, Jacobs house. I knock and wait. Jacob answers and I walk in.

" I need some heroin, do you have any?" I ask, being extremely hopeful.

"Yeah, I do. Hold on though" he says, I don't often get money but when I do. It goes on drugs, or stuff for Hayley. Shit. Hayley. I take out my phone and call her.

"Hey." She answers. I can tell she's mad.

"Listen babe, my phone got taken off me. I'm sorry. I'm a Jacobs if you was to come round?"

"So there was no way you could have contacted me?"

"Unless I had a messenger pigeon, no. Sorry. It won't happen again, I promise. Again, I'm at Jacob's if you want to come round?"

"Okay. I'm on my way, love you."

"I love you too."

I hang up and put my phone in my pocket. Jacob entered the room and put something in front of me. Thank fuck. It was a needle. Filled with heroin. He handed me a strap, tying it around my arm, I pickup the syringe. I find the best vein, and inject in. It feels good. I feel safe. I go in to my own world. I'm drowsy, I don't really take on what's going on around me.

It's a almost three hours later when the effects start to wear off. Sit up and look around. I see her. I see Hayley. Her long brown hair fell past her shoulders, her blue eyes looking straight at me. I smile, she smiles back.

"Hey." She says, getting up and walking over to the couch where I lay, she sits down beside me and I put my arm around her, and she nuzzles in to my neck, and I smell her hair, the scent of her shampoo making me smile. I love this girl.

"Hi." I say. "Sorry about before."

"You're forgiven." She smiles and kisses me on the lips.

"That's kind of you, what's the time?" I search for my phone. It was already 19:03. I have to go back soon. Before I know it, it's 19:30. I pick up my hoodie and leave, I have to be on time tonight or I'll be in trouble. I'm walking home, it's getting kind of dark. I hear footsteps behind me, I turn to see who is there. No one. I'm getting paranoid.

I turn up outside the familiar, large iron gates. I head in and see Ben, he nods. I head towards my room, a tall, blonde haired guy, who goes by the name of Sam barges past and knocks my arm. I turn quick, and slam his head off the wall, fucker better not think he's getting away with that. No one messes with me.