Boys Don't Cry

Chapter 32

I rub my eyes groggily, and check the clock. 7:12. Crawling out of bed and dragging myself to the shower, my body is met with the hot water. It runs down my body, waking me up slightly. I then brush my teeth and get dressed, shuffling downstairs. My father and Amelia are at the breakfast table drinking coffee. I take an apple from the fruit bowl and a drink of water, and then sit down at the table across from them.

"How do you feel?" My dad asks, obviously taking note of my sleepy behaviour. "You still tired?" I nod, quickly trying to think of an excuse for why I'm still groggy after almost twelve hours sleep.

"I had a nightmare." I say, knowing it's all I've got.

"Oh... You alright?" He asks again.

"Yeah, It wasn't as bad as it normally is." I say, putting my apple core in the bin and gulping down the rest of my water. I've been having a lot of flashbacks and nightmares recently, for obvious reasons. After I've grabbed my things and said goodbye to Amelia, my father and I get in the car and start our morning journey. When we pull up in the car park, I take my time undoing my seat belt.

"Try not to let what's happened affect your school work, okay? I know it seems like a big deal, but nothing bad is gonna happen." My dad throws in, my eyes fall in front of me, looking straight out the windscreen. I climb out of the car and my dad follows, Ben is already at the door, holding it open.

"Hey, Michael." He says cheerfully.

"Hi." Is the only thing I say back. I saunter in and wait in the foyer to find out why my Dad has come inside too. He gives me a smile and tells me to go to class, then he disappears in to the office, with Lauren. Just as I am about to turn away, I see Sarah, my therapist, walk in to the office too. I assume Katherine will be joining them, when I get in to the classroom, my eyes fall on to Ben, who is obviously leading the class instead. Sitting down, he hands me more geography and maths work, both of which I hate, I choose not to do it, but instead, sit and do nothing, I think about when I might get my phone back, and I can see or talk to Hayley again. A couple hours go by and lunchtime arrives, although I don't eat anything, I don't think anyone notices. Back in class, my mind wanders to what my dad was doing in the office, I wonder what they were speaking about, although I know I was probably the main topic. Another few minutes fly by and Lauren, who has returned to the class, walks by my desk. She picks up my worksheets and books, observing my lack of work.

"You've not done very much today, is everything ok?" She asks, putting the untouched work down.

"Yes." I spit.

"Is there anything you're struggling with?" She asks, this time with more kindness.

"No." I say, with more hostility in my tone. She doesn't say anymore and walks away. I slouch forward and put my head on the desk, trying to block everything. Soon enough class ends and I make my way through to the therapy room, the plain walls, and the soft comfortable sofa greet me, I take a seat and wait for Sarah to show up, it's obvious what she's gonna want to talk about. It's not long before see walks in, her brown, short hair sitting at her shoulders. As always, she's carrying a black book and a back folder.

"Hello." She says cheerfully, flashing a smile. I smile back, although I don't say anything. She sits down and opens the book.

"Tough weekend you've had, hasn't it?" She starts, giving me a warm smile. I shrug, pretending it doesn't bother me. My eyes fall to the floor. "Your Dad said you were quite upset when you found out, he said you ran away to a friends house. Do you want to talk about it?" Her tone is kind, although patronising. I shrug again.

"There's nothing to talk about." I say bluntly "There nothing no one can do to help." The truth is harsh, but Sarah doesn't seem phased.

"Getting worries off your chest and speaking about them sometimes helps, especially if you talk about it with someone who understands." She explains, writing something down. She finishes and makes eye contact with me again before I answer.