Boys Don't Cry

Chapter 35

The old, all-too-familiar building comes in to view, I climb out the car and wander inside, dragging my feet behind me, my dads footsteps follow close behind, although I take no notice. Before I go to the classroom, I find myself in the bathroom, snorting cocaine, then in a daze, my legs carry me to the mundane room, where I sit for two hours. I know my Father is here somewhere, although I don't care, and act like I normally do - tripping in silence. Lauren does her usual walk around the tables helping kids do work, all of them apart from me. She gives me her usual disappointed look, and treads back to the front, disappearing a minute later. I know where she's gone, and I prepare myself. When she comes back, roughly five minutes later, she has a cross look on her face.

"Michael, come with me and bring your things." She instructs. I pull myself up from the chair and grab my backpack and workbook, then I follow Lauren out of the room, we walk down the corridor in silence, and in to a near empty, the only person in it is my father, who shares the same disappointed/cross expression as Lauren. He is sitting at a table, looking even more fed-up than Lauren. I sit down beside him, and place my things down In front of me, then I place my head, flat on the table, folding my arms across the back of it.

"Sit up." My Father orders, his voice stern. Reluctantly, I sit up and lift my head, although, I do not look at him. "Why are we here?" He asks me. I shrug my shoulders, we both know why.

"At this rate, Mate, you're never going to get your phone back." I shrug again, pretending not to care about what he's saying. "Take your jacket off." He tells me.

"I'm not doing that." I object. Although, it's not enough.

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. Take your jacket off, you're inside." I shake my head.

"Why?" He asks.

"I'm cold." I say, the real reason is I can't let him see the fresh wound marks.

"It's warm in here, take it off, please.

"I'm not taking it off." I say, hoping this will end the argument. It does, and he doesn't mention it anymore. He spends the next hour helping me with maths, it's easier with him there, I understand it more. Then, he tells me to go get lunch, I leave and go to the bathroom, snorting even more cocaine, then I sit in the lunchroom, although I don't reach for food. That is, until my Dad walks in and spots me not eating.

"You not having something to eat, Mate?" I shake my head.

"I have a headache." I lie.

"You should try to eat something, even if it's small." I shake my head, trying to look sick. He disappears for a couple minutes and then returns. Pulling up a chair next to me he takes a seat.

"I've just spoken to Lauren and she's going to let us go home now, since you're ill, ok?" I nod and we both get up from our seats and walk out to the car.

"You ok?" My Father asks, as we pull up to traffic lights.

"Yeah." I whisper. Unsure of whether I actually am or not.

We get home sooner than expected and I walk inside, I'm greeted by Amelia, who does not look happy.

"Alex, can I have a word please?" She asks. My parents disappear into the kitchen, and I go straight upstairs, looking in the mirror, I realise I'm looking much thinner. My room looks cleaner, so I assume Amelia has tidied up. Walking over to my nightstand, I pull it forward, ready to retrieve my stash. It's not there, it's gone, someone has found it. Amelia. I start to panic, and start rummaging about my room, hoping it's me that's switched the hidden spot.

"Lost something?" My dad spits, standing at the door, I look at him, he's angry. "Kitchen, now." He stands waiting on me, so I walk towards him and push past, strutting straight downstairs and In to the kitchen, Amelia tells me to sit down, so I do. I quickly look at my parents, before letting my head fall in my hands, holding it there. They both look furious. My father throws my stash on the table in front of me, I don't touch it. I don't even lift my head out of my hands. There's a long moment of silence. Surprisingly, Amelia speaks first.