Boys Don't Cry

Chapter nine - one week later

I wake up with gasp. Shit. Another nightmare. I look at the clock. 10:27.

Today, I am getting contact with my father, just me and him. He's coming here at half past eleven and it will be for one hour. I have a lot I questions I want to ask him. But I might not ask all of them. I'm scared at the questions he'll ask me. What if it things like why I'm here or where's my mum? How can I tell him my mothers boyfriend attacked me and she refused to see me afterwards? I get up and take off my boxers, I grab a towel and wrap it around my waist, heading for the shower. Looking at my arms in the shower I see a few fresh needle marks and cuts and burns, I don't know why I cut and burnt myself. It felt good. I've been high quite a lot this week, to take my mind off eating. Last thing I think about on heroin is food. I've lost a further 9 pounds in a week and a half. I quickly wash and brush my teeth. Getting dressed in to blue jeans and a plain white, long sleeved t-shirt I head to the sitting room thinking of an excuse not to eat, it becoming hard. Thinking of excuses. Not just that, but the not eating, I'm tired, I have sore heads a lot and I'm dizzy. I grab an apple from the dining room and mutter something about being nervous. I've also seen a lot of Hayley and Joseph this week. Me and Hayley are closer than ever. I've also seen my dad this week, just once though and again today. On Wednesday we spoke about how they managed to track him down, he was living in the rich part of London and the rest doesn't really matter. I guess that's where I could be living soon, living the high life, I found out he has his own computer business, it's hard to believe he dated my mother. I mean, she doesn't look like his type, she was a junkie. It's confusing.

Half past eleven slowly creeps up and before I know it I see my fathers Audi appear in the car park. I walk in to the sitting room and wait for someone to come and get me. Soon, Nicole does. She's new. She's also fit. She's young and obviously just qualified. I follow her through to the meeting room and see my dad sitting on one of the couches he has a white box with him, I walk in and greet him. He smiles and motions me to sit down.

"Before we start I know you have a lot of questions, and let me assure you I will answer all of them. I got you this, I know it will never make up for the fifteen years I wasn't here. But I just wanted you to have something nice. I know you probably don't get nice things often." He hands me the white box with a picture of an apple on top of it. I open it. It's an iPhone. A black, new, shiny iPhone. I look at it with wide eyes.

"Thanks." I say with a smile. I could get used to this. There's an awkward silence. I look at him. Ready to start with my questions.

"Did you really have no idea I existed?" I ask. Being blunt.

"No, after your mother and I broke up, I never saw her again, we were only together a couple of weeks." He says looking at the floor.

"Why did you break up?" It sounded nosey, but he owed me.

"She had her problems, and I have mine. We were just two different people." He's looking at me now, and I'm looking at the floor. "So how did you end up here? All Katherine told me is that you're mother couldn't look after you, because of circumstances."

"Drugs." I correct him. "By circumstances, they mean drugs and her boyfriend. He didn't like me." He nods, leaving it there.

"What school do you go to?" He asks changing the subject.

"I don't. I've been removed from all of the surrounding schools, they try to give me lessons here, but I'm not having any of it." He lets out a faint laugh.

"Removed?"

"My behaviour isn't the best. I've kind of taken after my mother there." I say hoping he won't take it further. He looks at me with a creased brow. I hope he doesn't know I meant drugs, I wanted to be honest yet hide the fact I'm a junkie, I'm not addicted. I can stop any time I want.

"You should let them teach you here. Education is important. It's your ticket out of this kind of life." He says gently.

"I don't like being here too much. I'd rather be out with my friends, being here just reminds me about things." I'm fiddling with my sleeve. He looks at right at me, I look away, avoiding eye contact completely. I notice how thin my hands look. "Let's speak about you. Do you have any other kids? Girlfriend?" I ask. Poking Into his life like he did mind.

"I don't have any other kids, yet. But I'm married. She knows about you, but we won't rush to including her yet." He's different from my mum, not selfish, he's not putting his wife first. I like it. I realise I haven't had a cigarette since late last night. I don't have any on me, I wonder if it's worth asking him.

"Do you smoke?" I ask. Hoping he says yes. He gives me a guilty look.

"Yes. But I won't do it in front of you." Damn.

"Can you give me some cigarettes? I really need one." I looks almost shocked.

"You're only fifteen. I don't think you're social worker would appreciate it."

"Come on. Please? We don't have to tell her. Just this once. I'll stop, I promise." He sighs and looks towards the door. Taking a white packet of cigarettes out of his pocket he slips me two. "Thanks... Dad." I say smiling. He looks taken aback by what I've said. But then smiles. As soon as we've completed the exchange there's a knock at the door, which startles us both. Katherine walks in and takes a seat on a chair in the corner. She smiles and looks at us.

"How did you guys think that went?" She asks optimistically.

"Great." I say. They both look at me and I smile, which is totally out of character. After a few minutes of evaluations and chattering we stand up to leave. Me and me dad shake hands and say goodbye and I mutter another thanks and leave him and Katherine to speak. I go to my room and exchange all the numbers over to my new iPhone as soon as I've done so i get a text. From Jacob

Party? Be at mine for six

Fantastic way to end a good day.