Boys Don't Cry

Chapter 43

I grasp Hayley's hand tighter, as we walk up the hill in the cemetery, everyone is dressed in black or pink. My black suit and pink tie blend in nicely. I tighten my arm around the small, pink wooden box as I lead my family member and friends to my daughters graveside. I kneel down beside an already dug hole, and kiss the tiny coffin, which I now hold in both hands. I carefully and gently pass it to Hayley and she holds it for a moment, before doing the same thing. Together, we lay our daughter in the ground to rest and as Hayley erodes in to a waterfall of tears, I take her in my arms while the priest says some words and we both cry. Then, I leave Hayley in the arms of her parents, and I unfold a piece of paper from my jacket pocket. I blink back tears and swallow the lump in my throat, my eyes look at my family and friends, including Jacob, who I share a quick smile with. I clear my throat and begin

"Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow."

A tear runs down my face, and I choke on my words, but I carry on, for Hayley and my for daughter.

"I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die."

I close my eyes as more tears fall from them, and I shift in to Amelia's arms, who places a kiss on my forehead, as she cries. My father, who has tears in his eyes, pats me on the shoulder and hugs me too, I accept a hug from all of my family members, but Hayley is the final person, to fall in to my arms once more, as I kiss her soft, wet face. We stand beside the hole in the ground, which accommodates a pink coffin. As I am silent, I think of what could have been, I think of what should have been. It was taken away from me, just like everything else. We decided to call her Eve, after Hayley's best friend. She's always liked the name. We both chose a name, and put them all together. I look at the headstone which is freshly out it. We were lucky enough to get it put in for the funeral.

Eve Amelia Cooper-Williams
Born asleep
October 3rd at 25 weeks
Forever in our hearts, our angel.

As I am silent, I say goodbye to my daughter for the final time.