Holding Onto You (boyxboy)

Holding Onto You Chapter 6

Hunter's pov

"Have you ever been in a relationship with someone Hunter?"

"What do you mean Vincent?"

"What I mean is have you ever had a girlfriend? Someone you care for, who you trust, who you hold and kiss and share all your secrets and thoughts with. Have you ever been in love?" Vincent asked. It was lunch and we were sitting under a tree eating and talking. After my panic attack earlier I didn't want to go to the cafeteria where I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I guess word spread fast. Vincent had decided to bring us here so he could answer my questions about being gay.

"No. I've never had a relationship. I've only known a few people in my life and none of them could possibly be in that kind of relationship with me." Besides my parents and Heather, I've only known my tutor Lucy who is thirty and was very strict but the best tutor I could ever ask for. She read to me everyday during my lessons about the most amazing things and explained everything to perfection. She's married and her husband is very nice. Another reason why I decided to come to school was because if I didn't I would have to get another tutor this year because she became a mum recently and she wants to stay at home to take care of her son. Then there's my grandparents, from both sides who love Heather and I very much and spoil us a lot. My Uncle Edward is also a big part of my life but he lives in New York and visits when he can. He is my dads younger brother. He is married and has three little girls.

"So you've never been kissed?" My hand immediately went to my cheek my fingers tracing where my mum always kisses me and then to my forehead where my dad always plants kisses.

"Only by family." Yeah my life sucks.

"I don't mean that kind of kiss." He sounded closer to me. I felt him trace his finger on my lips and I sucked in a breath. "When two people love each other, whether it is a heterosexual or straight relationship like your parents where it's a man and a woman in the relationship, or whether it's a homosexual or gay relationship where it's two men or two woman in a relationship then they show their love and affection by kissing each other on the lips." My eyes widened in shock. Two men? Kiss on the lips? I'm sure I heard wrong.

"Two men? You're kidding right?" He had to be.

"Nope I'm serious. Two guys can be in a relationship and even get married. They can adopt kids and be two dads to the kids. They may be frowned upon by society and rejected by their parents who feel they are committing a sin but they can't change who they are. You don't choose to be gay, it's just a part of who you are. It's part of discovering yourself. You may realize you are gay at a young age or it might take a while but you can't reject it and pretend you're not gay when you are. You will just be hurting yourself. You can't change who you are. Tyler and Alex were both accepted by their parents and friends but some kids don't get accepted and it can destroy their whole lives, resolving in harming themselves or ever taking their own lives because of the rejection. They start to believe that they are sinful and don't want to be a shame to their parents. Homophobia is a very serious issue and if you feel that two guys or two girls being in a relationship is wrong then I'm sorry but I won't be your friend anymore. I may be straight but I support homosexuals and I hate homophobic people." Vincent seriously needed to slow down. This was so much for me to process.

I sat for about twenty minutes just trying to understand what Vincent was saying. Is it possible? Two guys being in a relationship. Getting married. Having a family. Well apparently it is possible. Why didn't my parents or Lucy tell me this before? Why didn't I hear it from Heather? Are they homophobic? Do they not approve of it? Do they think it's not right? Did they not realize that I needed to know things like this to discover myself? That I could have possibly been gay. Am I gay? Is that why I react that way when Vincent or Tyler come close to me? Is that why I couldn't stop thinking of the guy with the amazing voice and the muscled arms that I held onto for dear life when I got separated from my mum at the supermarket before summer and had a not so friendly encounter with a dog.