final chapter.
"You're the reason I chose to keep breathing."
~~~
"Harry?" Louis said quietly as his fingers traced the thin, white scars on Harry's inner thigh, looking up at Harry with curiosity in his eyes.
"Yes?" Harry asked quietly, taking Louis's hand.
"I know you've used the term... Boyfriends... But what are we, really?" Louis asked, squeezing Harry's hand.
"You're my everything," Harry said softly. "You know that, Louis."
"Would you really kill yourself if I died?" Louis asked in a voice quieter than before.
"Yes," Harry answered immediately. "I'd have nothing to live for."
Louis was quiet for a few more moments before he sat up and climbed over Harry's body, sitting lightly on his lower stomach.
"Have you... Do you think that... What do you see in our future, Harry?"
Harry looked a little distressed, but he immediately went back to his normally emotionless 'Harry' face. He didn't want Louis to think he saw no future with them together because he certainly did. "I can not see the future. What would you like, Louis, because I know there's something."
"Well, of course I want your last name," Louis whispered shyly. "And... Maybe... Maybe we can adopt..."
"A cat, maybe," Harry said, looking seriously at Louis. "I love you but we are not having any children, Louis."
"But, Daddy-"
"Don't you come at me like that," Harry spoke sharply, desperate not to have this conversation. "Like we just talked about, if you die, I die. What if that's soon after we adopt? I couldn't handle that, Louis and it would ruin a child."
Louis sighed softly, stroking Harry's jawline with his fingers now, always touching Harry- not that the younger lad minded. "I understand."
"You do?"
"Yes, sir," Louis replied softly. "I do because I understand what you mean. I'd be depressed and an empty shell if you were gone. No child deserves that."
"I'm sorry," Harry replied honestly. "I love you more than anyone can love anything. You are my moon, my stars, my gravity, holding me to the planet. My little sunshine Lou. I will marry you, whenever you want. I'll go buy a ring and propose tonight if that's what you want, Louis. I can't promise children or complete happiness while you're married to me because I'm me, but I can promise you loyalty and respect and all of the love I can give you."
"Harry," Louis whispered, "I will be happy with you the entire time that we are together because I love you and everything about you. You have had fucked up things happen to you, Harry, but you still manage to be gentle, even if you don't see it. It's only to me, yes, but it's to me and that means so much."
Harry smiled sadly, arms wrapping around Louis's waist. "You're too sweet for your own good, Louis. So caring and forgiving."
"I will do anything for you," Louis whispered. "Anything at all."
"I will say the same to and about you. I meant what I said, Louis."
"You'll marry me if I want that? If I want to be engaged, you'll do it right now?"
"Whenever," Harry replied. "Although, I planned on surprising you."
"Soon?" Louis whispered, clenching onto Harry's shoulders.
"Yes," Harry agreed with a smile, "I think so."
Louis grinned and pressed his lips to Harry's briefly before pulling away.
"You're crying," Harry whispered and Louis smiled, wiping away tears.
"I'm happy," Louis said, a small hiccup escaping his lips. "I thought that you may see marriage as silly-"
"I can't wait for you to be Louis Styles," Harry said nearly breathlessly because Louis was just stunning, so overwhelmingly extraordinary.
"I've considered giving it time but I'm afraid," Harry admitted. It was one of the first times he's instigated a talk about his feelings.
"What are you afraid of?" Louis asked as he laid his head on Harry's chest, listening to the man's heartbeat.
"I'm afraid you'll get tired of me," Harry said so softly that Louis had barely managed to hear it.
"Harry," Louis said in slight surprise, sitting up so he could look at his lover again. "I wouldn't do that,"
"It does seem highly unlikely," Harry agreed. "But I know how I can get. One of these days you may get sick of my bipolar issues-"
"We are working on it and that's what I wanted you to do. You don't want to see a therapist or take medicine but you're going to do it for me and that means so much."
Harry grinned and pulled Louis in for another kiss.
"You know that I love you, Louis."
"I do... And you know that I love you."
"And I'm so, so thankful for that."
~~~
The end.
Read the epilogue, it's posted as well. (:
