Stuck in the Happiest Place on Earth

15: Corny Joke Central of the Jungle

"Caution! Watch the gap." Read the sign posted on the edge of the water.

The notice depicted a giraffe attempting to board the boat but he was balancing between the boat and the dock as the wide gap stretched his long legs out.

"Your attention please. We do not allow cutting in the line here at the world-famous Jungle Cruise. Anyone caught with a pair of scissors will be asked to leave." The voice said in a tv commercial tone.

Skylar rolled her eyes at the joke but suppressed a smile. "You should love it here."

"Knock-Knock."

"Who's there!?" She said playing along.

"Safari"

"Safari who?"

"Sa-far-i, so good. You'll be on the Jungle Cruise in a few minutes." Andrew said with a smug look on his face.

"Save it for the boat ride." Skylar simpered. "After all, I assume you want to be the skipper."

Ahead of them floated the Jungle Cruise boat named "Nile Princess." The usual brown canvas was laid over the top, leaving an awning of brown on the edge. The boat itself was empty but they heard the faint hum of the motor on.

Andrew one foot in the boat and pivoted with his second foot still on the dock. He held the position that the skippers would and he offered to "help" Skylar in the boat.

There was this inside joke about this because the cast members would touch your arm ever so slightly so you were under the illusion that they actually assisted you into the boat when really they didn't help at all. Skylar always wondered if the reason was because legally they couldn't touch you but it was just funny to imitate them.

Andrew dramatized the brief motion and barely grazed her arm as she stepped onto the watercraft. Then he jumped down the step also and walked along the wooden crates in the middle, to the wheel.

The control panel was not extremely complicated and was displayed on a polished wooden block. It held a few gauges, two switches and several buttons but most were just for decoration. The real control was on the side of the block; a silver lever, that controlled the speed of the vessel. Above that hung a holster, half concealing a revolver with a brown handle sticking out and finally on a hook hung the microphone-like square shaped speaker that the skipper used for their witty spiel.

Andrew picked up the speaker and warmed it up. "You know I get paid for the number of people I take out not the ones I take back!"

He acted as if he had a whole boat full of people watching intently yet there was only Skylar trying not to laugh at his theatricals.

Andrew pushed down the silver lever and the motor rumbled causing the boat to glide forward slowly.

"Wave goodbye to the dock." He pronounced, waving his hand then mumbled. "You will never see it again."

And they were off, slowly sailing into the thick humid jungle. It was a better entrance than the last time they entered---from the sky. This time around it seemed much calmer but that probably wouldn't last for long.

The boat drifted past a rather large boa constrictor that had coiled itself tightly around a dead tree that had only a few bare branches. Then the jungle path of water swerved to the right and expecting this, Andrew spun the wheel that way, slowing turning the vessel.