She Was Broken Beyond Repair

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Luke Dawson P.O.V

Pain.

Hurt.

Heartbreak.

Emptiness.

Failure.

Darkness.

Even these words aren't enough to describe the emotional trauma I am going through right now.

The love of my life has once again slipped away from my hold.

I don't know for what sins I am being punished for this cruel way. The feeling of lossing the person who is the sole reason for your survival to someone else, is terrible!

Four years of happiness, four years of hope, four years of feeling complete have just gone down the drain beacuse of the return of one f*cking person! Kyle Redmond.

Today, when I opened my heart out to Paisley, I felt as if she would definitely realise I am the one for her and not Kyle Redmond, but I was wrong. Terribly wrong!

Seeing her walking away from me into a house that wasn't mine was extremely hurtful. From the past four years I have dreamt of the day when she would walk into my house calling it her home.

I want her badly! She is like the drug that has kept me going until now. I don't know whether I'll be able to cope with this intense heartbreak again.

Moving on from her is just next impossible for me, but I'll try. I'll try because she asked me to, I'll try because she says I deserve to be happy even if it is with someone else, I'll try because she says I have the right to have a family of my own. Though, all this is very hard for me, but I will give my all to it because she wants me to, because she wants to see me happy. So, I will give full respect to her choice and do what she say's, even if it kills me every single second!

I would give away anything in this world if I could have her with me.
I would agree to all her conditions, even if she said she would not want kids with me and just want Noah, Ryder, her and I together as a family, our family. I would agree to it without wasting another breath!

But none of this will happen now. She is gone! And I would like to believe that, she is gone for good!

I entered my house with my eyes burning with unshed tears. I feel lifeless, I feel as if each and every limb of my body is ready to collapse with my collapsing life.

Certainly dying wouldn't hurt as much as this.

I felt giving her time to cope with the hell she was put through, would help me. I wanted her to start healing with time and then take the first step to our dreamt relationship, but I waited too long! I f*cking wasted the the four golden years of my life!

Waiting has only caused me another horrible heartbreak. I might be sounding like a girl right now, but I don't care and neither do I mind. I want to let go of all these emotions and feel free....

Feel free and concentrate on my life without, Paisley. A life without her isn't worth living but I have to.

At this moment I have an extremely strong urge to hurt Redmond! I want to tear him apart limb by limb and make him suffer, but I won't. I won't because he is the one Paisley loves, because he is the one she will spend the rest of her life with, because he is the one who is the father of her children.
So, even if I want to torture him and want him gone, I won't. I won't because I love Paisley too much to hurt her, I love Noah and Ryder too much to take their father away from them.