Don't you know who I think I am? // Cake

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~Now I'm not sure and I couldn't find the old requests I got (really sorry about that) but I have a memory of something having to do with this and yeah this happened. It is pretty...strange though, strange and immature? I don't know, but read with caution if you don't like well crap


Also the title has nothing to do with anything and I didn't really know how to end it either  xx /M~  


[WARNINGS: crap? like literally] 



Luke feels like an adult, he really does. He has been accepted into law school, he's finally learned to drink and at least somewhat enjoy coffee, he's moved into a small house along with his boyfriend of eight years and they've even bought a set of towels specifically for the floor just outside the shower to prevent them from getting water everywhere after every shower. And it really is about time considering that he has been an adult, legally speaking, for the past seven years.

"Calum? Babe it's time to get up." the younger man groans and rolls onto his stomach, burying his face in Luke's pillow. "Come on, I'll go put some coffee on and I'll see you in five minutes." not giving Calum any chance to reply, or argue, Luke kisses his bare shoulder before leaving the dark, stuffy bedroom. Just as he promised the first thing he does is to put some coffee on, knowing that his boyfriend needs it even more than he does in the morning, before he leaves the house to get the newspaper. Oh yeah, because they read the newspaper every morning now too. They've got a nice system for it too, with Calum starting with the sports while Luke reads the news.

By the time he gets back inside, having stopped for a moment to say good morning to the neighbour's dog Sally, the coffee is ready and Calum is nowhere to be seen. Deciding to give the younger man some more time he pours himself a cup of coffee before sitting down, grabbing both the news and the sports before opening one of them and starting to read.

Had he been a better adult, more like his mum and dad, he would have focused more on getting his boyfriend out of bed and more on getting some proper breakfast and not on reading both parts of the newspaper before said boyfriend actually leaves the bed but hey, he's still new to this. And besides, if Calum had been in a rush he would have done that but as it is now Calum doesn't have to be at work for another two hours and if he'd rather sleep than get up in time and not have to rush he can do that.

Having spent half an hour eyeing through both papers and reading the articles he found to be interesting whilst downing at least half the coffeepot, something that rarely happens since Calum generally drinks a lot faster than him and therefore takes most of it before Luke's even finished half his cup, Luke finally gets up with the goal to get on with his day. He washes his cup, wanting it to be nice and clean when he gets back from school later, and heads to the bathroom for a much needed poo. He supposes that too is something that comes with being a real adult, having a poo at the same time every day, having regular bowel...something. It makes him feel like an adult either way, even though he'd never even dream of sharing that with someone else.

Only kids talk about poop.

The shit itself is close to perfect, no issues whatsoever. He gets back on his feet, raising his arms above his head and stretching before he washes his hands. It is when he's about to leave the bathroom he sees it. And he screams.

~

Calum, having been peacefully sleeping with his arms around Luke's pillow and one leg outside the warmth of the covers, wakes up as a loud, high pitched scream is heard. For a moment he doesn't know where he is and the scream is heard again. Finally, having recognised his own bedroom, he gets on his feet and stumbles out of the room, following the squeals to the bathroom.

"What's the matter?" he opens his mouth before he's even entered the bathroom, stopping dead in his tracks as his eyes lands on the almost two meters tall man standing in the bathtub with a shampoo bottle in his hand, holding it above his head as if it was a weapon.

"Kill it Calum!" Luke squeaks, his eyes only meeting Calum's for a second before they move back to the floor just behind the toilet. "Kill it! Kill it before it kills me!"

"Kill what?" confused, Calum enters the bathroom. He bends down to get a better look at what he assumes is a spider or something, only to then find a very tiny mouse sitting there looking even more scared than Luke does. "Oh I'm not killing that, wait here" Luke opens his mouth to protest but before he gets a chance to actually say something Calum has left the room.

He returns a few minutes later, now carrying an empty shoebox and a magazine. Carefully, not wanting to scare the tiny visitor, he falls to his knees. He can feel Luke's eyes on him as he places the box on his side of the toilet but the mouse seems too busy staring at Luke to notice him. Calum wonders if maybe it's deaf because surely it should have heard him by now, especially since he was straight up talking to Luke a minute ago.

"Kill it!" Luke says again, the arm being held about his head now visibly shaking. Calum shakes his head, grabbing the magazine and slowly lowering it just in front of the small mouse who reacts just like he wanted it to. Seemingly scared it turns to run, not really looking and ending up running straight into the box causing it to tip over and trapping it.

"Now, let's get this little fella back to his family" Calum gets back on his feet, grabbing the box and leaving the bathroom as he talks to the mouse that's running around in the shoebox. "Luke didn't actually want me to kill you, I'm sure if he'd met you somewhere else, say out in the garden, he wouldn't even have yelled at you. He just got surprised." he explains as he makes his way through the house and out the front door. "He's actually really nice, a nice guy" he stops by a small bush, deciding that it seems like a nice place to live if you're a mouse. "Here we are, you have a nice life now mister." he carefully tips the mouse out, watching it dart in under the bush, before turning back to the house.

"It's gone, you can come out now" Luke is still standing in the tub as Calum enters the bathroom after putting the box back where it belongs. "It's outside and I bet it won't bother you again, come on." he even goes as far as to hold his hand out for the taller man to take but Luke only shakes his head.

"I think I'll stay here for a while." he says, earning a small smile from Calum.

"Suit yourself, but you're gonna be late for school." 

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